Let’s go back to the actual conversation again. You have lots of exciting rationalizations not to want chumros, the point we were actually discussing is that you are happier with your kid’s exposure to this other stuff than learning “too much religion”.
it is just not my family mesorah. Mine is closer to what CT described here before
Is this really a family mesorah or just what you picked? If you have a derech other than just doing what isn’t too restrictive and annoying then that would be something. But you seem to just be following what works for you. You will align with people regardless of their appropriate adherence to halacha as long as they have a foot in academia. You run to the way that is more accepting even if it means putting Torah second (or third even). That isn’t a derech. That is a comfort zone. A rationalization. A recipe for a disasterous future ch”v. You may be unaware that you have made the same distortions of halacha and middos but in a different direction. At least be honest with yourself.