flatbush27, the first date is never deep so it’s always external to a point. Do you want to kill the person or can you stand looking at this person?
It’s a common myth and also a destructive one that really helps the crisis continue that physical attraction should play no part in a shidduch. I have heard, but I forgot from who but it makes sense, if you are not physically attracted to the person, there is no point in going out again. No matter how much you develop an intellectual relationship or if your hashkafos match, as long as you can’t stand looking at the person, there is no point.