February 6, 2009 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #589335
please don’t brush this off with a “dont worry what u wear, just be yourself” line because my nerves can NOT handle that right now.
i need some good old fashioned advice.
dates number 1 and 2 were in a hotel lobby, so i dressed more dressy.
do i dress dressy on the 3rd too?
is the 3rd date typicaly also a lobby date?
what number date do you get more casual and nix the lobby?
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelppppp!February 6, 2009 7:24 pm at 7:24 pm #638334kiruvwifeMember
Is it possible for you to find out where you’re going on your next date so you can prepare accordingly and not have your nerves shot?
If you’re going to a lobby you would dress for that kind of ambience, if you were going to the zoo you might want to dress a little differently.February 6, 2009 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #638335
why does it say 4 posts, when there are only 2??February 6, 2009 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #638337
qwerty, cause 2 more were deleted.February 6, 2009 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #638338teenMember
qwerty: idk its messed p
just noticing how much better it is to b a guy all u do is shave throw n a suit and ur done 🙂February 6, 2009 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #638339
my advice is dont worry what you wear, just be yourself 🙂February 6, 2009 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #638340
joseph: thanx, i figured but now it’s fixed.February 6, 2009 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #638341
aaaaahhhh! flatbush!!!!! 🙂
how about hearing from some guys- what number date would u typicaly step down from “lobbying”?
kiruvwife, thanks, but i dont know why but i feel funny asking….February 6, 2009 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #638343beaconParticipant
Usually by the third date you would not be going somewhere too fancy- but why don’t you get the shadchan to ask the guy? (note: it would have been nice of him to give you the heads up but I guess everyone’s different…)February 6, 2009 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #638344
usually the first 2 or 3 is in a lobby.February 6, 2009 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #638345CuriousMember
Belev – Go for a nice classy weekday look.
Most do not do the lobby thing on a 3rd date. During the day, you may go to some outdoor/indoor attraction, evenings may be out to eat…February 6, 2009 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #638346
maybe he’ll come on this thread and tell you. that would be funny 🙂February 7, 2009 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm #638347
3rd date dress in btwn!! Not too fancy not too casual!February 8, 2009 1:50 am at 1:50 am #638348kiruvwifeMember
Others have suggested that you ask the shadchan. That’s not out of the ordinary. Besides, it’s good to work on good communication skills-an absolute necessity in marriage as I’m sure you know.February 8, 2009 1:51 am at 1:51 am #638349BasYisroel2Participant
I would suggest perhaps something that you might wear on choel Hamoed or Motzaie shabbos to a Melave Malka-not Yom tov or Shabbos clothing- A nice top and sweater.Just make sure that what ever you wear you look put together and you look good in what you are wearing.
Don’t make yourself nuts and Hatzlacha Rabba!February 8, 2009 2:29 am at 2:29 am #638350oomisParticipant
Just dress in a comfortable, classy way, maybe a nice sweater set and skirt. comfortable but attractive shoes. It would help if you knew where you were going. Out to dinner is different from the local pizza shop. Have fun.February 8, 2009 3:12 am at 3:12 am #638351
ahhh, now these replys are better. thanks. so yeah, i think im gonna opt for a simpler, not too dressy but still nice and classy look.
ok, great, im off to my best friend’s closet… 🙂February 8, 2009 3:22 am at 3:22 am #638353beaconParticipant
ahhh, now these replys are better.
Your mistake: not specifying female replies only! 😉February 8, 2009 3:43 am at 3:43 am #638355
beacon- lol!!February 8, 2009 3:47 am at 3:47 am #638356KeepinEntertainedMember
lol beacon! true!
blev echad – b’hatzlacha! just make sure whatever you wear looks good on you and your ready to go!
keep us posted with the goings!February 8, 2009 5:23 am at 5:23 am #638358
Belev Echad: hatzlacha!!!! keep us posted!!!!February 9, 2009 7:50 am at 7:50 am #638362teenMember
flatbush: haha i was going to say that but i figured id b nice 😛
Your mistake: not specifying female replies only! 😉
what? u dont think the men gave good advice?? 😛February 9, 2009 11:05 am at 11:05 am #638363PhyllisMember
Who goes to a Pizza Shop on a date?!February 9, 2009 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #638364
belev echad: hatzlachah, and lett us know how it went.$February 9, 2009 8:22 pm at 8:22 pm #638365
All other things being equal*, why should what you wear on a third or fourth date be any different than what you wear on a first or second date?
* By which I mean the venue, weather, etc.February 9, 2009 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #638366myshadowMember
K this is the list I got:
1. Dress to KILL-stunning gorgeous dress like going to a wedding. all the guy is doing on the first date is checking you out.
2. Dress really nice and classy, either a nice suit or simpler dress. I would stay away from the whole suit look, go dresses…more feminine
3. This is what you decide if your going sporty or not. Either a purty shabbos outfit or weekday like classy blazer, sweater and gr8 skirt
4. Nice weekday, I go with black sweater, gold belt and gold jewelry
5,6,7. Be yourself completely but look put together i.e. weekday clothes, but nice jewelry, hair etc.
8. Lchaim!! Mazal tov!
lol gluk I hope I didn’t give myself awayFebruary 9, 2009 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #638367
Who goes to a Pizza Shop on a date?!
I did. And she even married me too.
The WolfFebruary 9, 2009 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm #638368mchemtobMember
wear on date what you would wear to a bris knowing that you would have no time to go home and change before work. that way you’ll be sharp and functional.February 9, 2009 11:45 pm at 11:45 pm #638369
my shadow. im surprised the mods let number one of your list through. i dont think frum guys think the way you think they do.February 10, 2009 2:23 am at 2:23 am #638370
flatbush, you’re so naiveFebruary 10, 2009 3:20 am at 3:20 am #638371
myshadow: ha real funny!!!February 10, 2009 3:24 am at 3:24 am #638372
moish. looks are definitely taken into consideration when dating obviously but on the first date i dont think “all the guy is doing on the first date is checking you out.” people these days realize that there are more important things on dates to do than check each other outFebruary 10, 2009 3:25 am at 3:25 am #638373
My shadow: u made me laugh from ur list!! While I agree with number one (didn’t really read past that lol) ill have to disagree, guys don’t like wen a girl is TOO dressed up, like for a wedding. Too much make up, the clothes is too much for them. U can dress to kill but not like for a wedding on a date, don’t wear to much makeup- guys hate that especially foundationFebruary 10, 2009 3:50 am at 3:50 am #638374
Haha moish!!!February 10, 2009 3:54 am at 3:54 am #638375an open bookParticipant
moish01: its good 2 hear it from a guy, not just a rumorFebruary 10, 2009 4:49 am at 4:49 am #638376
ok, so i dressed nice classy casual which worked out really well cuz we went out 2 eat thank goodness not another lobby!
now i just need Hashem to give me a lot of clarity. make that tons.
and guess what. when i came home i realized my eye makeup smudged. anyone ever dated a racoon?February 10, 2009 5:13 am at 5:13 am #638378
Flatbush: its actually the opposite, FIRST the guy sees if he likes the way she looks THEN he gets to know herFebruary 10, 2009 5:31 am at 5:31 am #638379torahtzivaMember
wear a beautiful outfit.February 10, 2009 5:35 am at 5:35 am #638380
Belev echad: ha don’t worry maybe u rubed ur eyes in the car on the way home???????February 10, 2009 5:43 am at 5:43 am #638381
myshadow: “Dress to KILL”?? That is pure pritzus gamur.
Like Phyliss implied, a Pizza shop is inappropriate for a date.February 10, 2009 5:44 am at 5:44 am #638382
hey, i’m no Brisker. but i can’t imagine them being much different.February 10, 2009 5:44 am at 5:44 am #638383
Belev Echad: ha funny!!! hatzlacha!!February 10, 2009 5:49 am at 5:49 am #638384
joseph, you must be old. i gather that’s an expression used between girls.February 10, 2009 6:00 am at 6:00 am #638385
Belev Echad, don’t you all look like raccoons when you wear all that makeup junk on your eyes?February 10, 2009 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #638386myshadowMember
belev echad, omg im rolling sorry!! I’m sure you looked stunning!!
moish, good to hear the truth from a guy
flatbush, yes unfortunately that’s all the couple is doing on a date, if a boy thinks a girl is unattractive the first five minutes, then the date is over
joseph sorry bout the expression, is dress to attract any better?February 10, 2009 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #638387
moish, what do you mean “you all”? im a girl, not a clone. everyone has different ways of putting on makeup, and while some girls definately normaly wear a ton of gunk around their eyes so they have the racoon look, i prefer a more natural pretty look. which is why i was so freaked out when i looked in my mirror after coming home. i take it back. racoon is not the word. ugly racoon is more like it.February 10, 2009 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #638388
All I can say is that every time I come across shidduch threads such as this, I give many thanks to the Ribbono Shel Olam that I met my bashert on my own.
I didn’t have to deal with the “rules” over which party is supposed to say “yes” first, what has to be worn on which date, where we have to go on a particular number date, what things “pasul” a potential shidduch, the extensive detective work to determine if her summer camp counselor was acceptable, etc. We met, both knew within a few weeks that we were for each other and that was that.
If it works for you, great — but there is no way that this would have worked for me — and I thank HKBH for sparing me all of it.
The WolfFebruary 10, 2009 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #638389oomisParticipant
If I had a choice between being hungry on a date, sitting for meaningless hours in a lounge, or having a slice of pizza, the pizza wins every time. And I HAVE been there. Long time ago, perhaps, but guys were just as clueless in those days as some of them are now. 😛February 10, 2009 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #638390SJSinNYCMember
I agree, the shidduch system is not for me. I have an issue with the “he has this defect, she has this defect, perfect match” concept. Think its not true? My deaf sister was redt to someone who is blind. Sure, he was a great guy, but talk about communication problems! My sister married a wonderful hearing guy and they are happily married BH. Her friend’s mother set them up. Ultimately it worked, but the journey was a little crazy.
I don’t mind the rules of dating so much – it gives people a way to prepare. Imagine being anxious about the date AND the process. It works for many people to have strict rules to follow. [Not for me though!]February 10, 2009 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #638391
No need to be so formal. “Wolf” is just fine. 🙂
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