gavra: Chazal advise father-in-laws and girls to seek a Talmid Chochom.
cherrybim:
Just 2 days ago (above) you wrote “I would have loved to have given my children an apartment or home when they married. Joseph, just as a true ben torah doesn’t put his in-laws in a position to give him expensive items and weddings, so too, a true ben torah should not expect/demand gifts of apartments or support in kollel.
If he is truly worthy, the true ben torah should do as most of the great rabbonim have always done, take a rabbinical/teaching position to support the family and continue learning.”
Now you write: “Dowries, as in: putting together items to set up a new home, is not a new issue”
So, apparently, you have come around full circle on this issue in just 2 days! Welcome to the club. 🙂