This is for anyone who is dating & fears they might fall head over heels,
for perhaps the wrong reasons.
ames said; “So here’s my question. If you meet someone, and there is music and special effects, does that mean he/she is the wrong one?”
It might very well be so! There has to be clarity before you decide if it’s for you.
I unfortunately know ppl who didn’t have clarity & ended up getting messed up.
don’t ask!
ames, for example (assuming ur a girl), maybe the guy is very handsome,
a sharp dresser, etc. you might be intoxicated with his looks & manner,
and not be tuned in so much as to his hashkafas, even though he’s not as frum as you.
He might be a smooth talker, but he’s really full of hot air & you cant tell cuz
ur not focused, or he might act very considerate when he’s actually, a selfish person.
When one hears bells etc.. they’re probably in la la land, for whatever
superficial or real reasons. If this were the case I would suggest extra caution.
It should be disscussed w/ an experienced mentor. Also talking with a “real” close friend that is 100% impartial, might help put thing in perspective.
I suggest anyone who’s in this situation to take a (nice) few days break
in between dating to reevaluate all that you know so far,
& doing some soul-searching to get to the true reasons of why you feel
the way you do about this person when in their presence & when not.
DO NOT Listen to the Shadchan Drei-kopping you, pressuring you to make a
decision. Also don’t fall for when the shadchan tells you how deeply in love
the boy is with you. You job is to determine what you’re feelings are about the boy.
The fact that he is crazy about you,
1) might be an exaggeration (or not a fact at all)
2) should in no way make you choose something that your not happy with.