Jphone:
Expressing genuine appreciation to someone who spends hours trying to help your child is hardly “shmearing”.
It’s Funny.
I think we would all agree that parents should write a nice sincere card to express their appreciation to a shadchan once their child goes out on a couple of dates- wouldn’t you say? Why isn’t that “shmearing”.
Or is it only when a parent actually wants to give money to somehow compensate for the time the shadchan spent , that is when we get all bent out of shape.