Nice post shkoyach.
I’ve gotten shidduch calls where I really had to think of how to formulate my words to say it properly. If the person calling says, “Hi, I’m xyz calling for shidduch info about abc,” then I may have the excuse of saying “I’d like to help you, I’m in middle of something important now, can we be in touch in half an hour,” etc.
Or how about the rude, “I have a beep coming in, just a minute…”?
It’s much harder this way:
xyz: “Hi, my name is xyz, do you have a few minutes?”
Curious: “sure”
xyz: “I’d like to know shidduch info about abc”
Too late to say I’m busy now….
What has helped me get through some of these calls is to first ask: “Tell me about the boy/girl you’re considering this person for.” First, it’s easier to answer when you know where they’re coming from – not to c”v lie or mislead, but rather to word it in an appropriate manner. Second, I think it may even be a shmiras halashon requirement. I’m going to look it up in a sefer now…