The leniency regarding L”H spoken to 3 or more
With regard to the leniency stated by the Sages of the Talmud about speaking L”H to a group of 3 or more (Erchin 15b), this refers to something which is not absolutely derogatory, but rather something which could be taken one way or the other. Only for such ambiguous statements, about which one can only know what was meant if he actually heard how the information was said, does the leniency of “bifnei shlosha” (Heb. for “in front of three”) apply. Since one who speaks publicly knows that his words will travel back to the subject, because “everyone has a friend” (i.e. to repeat things to; an Aramaic expression), the speaker will take care when he speaks so that what he says is not derogatory.
The leniency known as “b’apei tlata” means that it is permissible to speak what could be understood either positively or negatively, in an ambiguous fashion, provided that one’s intentions were non-negative, before three people.
Very different from an allowance to speak any kind of Lashon Hara once one is in a crowd!