Mezonos Maven wrote
A second problem, as slightly alluded to by Mayan Dvash, is that she is trying to date two guy simultaneously.
No, she is not. She is about to be redt to the chosheveh bochur. That doesn’t mean that she is already dating him. She is worried that if Dovid doesn’t work out than she would want to date chosheveh bochur next. It does not sound like she is currently dating anyone.
True, but as bein_hasdorim pointed out, this story isn’t just shmoozing for no reason. For the purpose of marriage we allow boys and girls to talk. You agree that we allow a boy and girl to go on a date after a shadchan has set them up, so why not allow them to set themselves up? Why would this be any worse? these are two marriageable age yidden who are looking to find their bashert, and Hashem puts them in this situation. Perhaps Hashem is being the shadchan here as is even more evident from the follow up that was posted.
As The Wolf wrote:
I think we can all agree (can we?) that a single person talking with a member of the opposite gender for the sake of shidduchim is permitted, correct? After all, that’s what happens on dates all the time.
However, if someone who is in the shidduch parsha just happens to meet someone of the opposite gender that they think they might have an interest in, why shouldn’t the “small talk” be permitted? After all, how else is s/he supposed to determine that this person is/isn’t a potential match?
Or is a shadchan the *only* way to meet someone and if you happen to come across someone in “real life,” you just have to forget it?
Exactly. There is nothing wrong with just meeting someone and trying to see if it will work out. Obviously at some point you will have to look into things a little more (as “moe green” pointed out, what if they are not halachically allowed to marry each other) but this can be done through the aunt without an “official shadchan” getting involved. I think that everything that has happened until now is completely kosher and if they want to continue, the aunt should be involved as the shadchan.