“In addition, there is plenty of heartbreak with your approach as well. “
There is plenty of heartbreak potential in all shidduchim, no matter how they are made. My friend’s Yeshivah bochur who went through the very yeshivish shidduch process including checking out to death, going back and forth through the shadchan until a certain number date and so forth, then having the parents hash out the support issues, ended up with a broken engagement within two days of the vort. Anybody can have a broken heart. It has nothing to do with how they met the person.
Also, I want to address someone’s comment that a MODERN Orthodox person would watch tv on Shabbos. WHAAAAAAAAT!!!!!????????!!!! No one whose hashkafa is Orthodox in any form would do that. If they did that that would make them NOT Orthodox.
I am MO. I cover my hair, wear clothing that covers my elbows, clavicle, and well below my knees even when sitting down. I kept Taharas Hamishpacha all the years that I was privileged to do so, keep Shabbos, keep strictly 100% kosher (I drink Cholov Stam as well as Cholov Yisroel), am mafrishas challah when I bake it, daven every day, learn with my children and go to shiurim every week. I also: watch TV, go to movies, believe it is perfectly ok to speak to men in social settings, especially when my husband is present,try to dress somewhat fashionably (though mny kids think I am hopeless), encourage all my children to be friendly and courteous to people of both genders and look them in the eye when talking to them, and try to get them out of the narrow box that so many people are in when it comes to doing chessed. They will do chessed for ANYONE, not just for a specific type of frum yid. I made sure they went to college and became educated and prepared to work in the secular world, because that is where most of the jobs are. Above all, we try to be non-judgmental, and all though that seems to be a pejorative expression here to some people,I believe that this is one fo the middos that Hashem wants of us.