The second proposal being made is that people compensate shadchanim after a certain number of dates for having produced a “good potential”. The effect on the age gap is said to be that older girls will pay more.
I will respond based on my three points.
A. I am not convinced this will have an effect on the current age gap.
I am a guy, and I have dated. I always had multiple people I could go out with. I went out with whoever I thought had the best potential to lead to marriage. If a shadchan had bad ideas, I ignored him/ her and spoke to a different shadchan. If I felt a shadchan was being misleading, I would never deal with them again.
But really, the premise is faulty. If younger girls began to feel they were being ignored by shadchanim, they would also pony up the cash! Do we want to turn this into a bidding war?
B. This idea is achievable. Girls could start offering shadchanim money. But, as stated, it may not have the hoped for effect.
C. This idea is very dangerous. If singles are to pay shadchanim after a certain amount of dates, it would cause a pressure to not go on those further dates. A so-so third date would often result in a rejection if the fourth date will cost money. Witness how different the dating dynamic is when the parties are traveling to meet.
To summarize, the benefits are questionable, while the danger is real.