s2021 and smartcookie:
you’re like the couple who went to a rabbi with their disagreement. first wife speaks – rabbi says, “you’re right”. then husband speaks – rabbi says, “you’re right”. then someone says, how can they both be right? rabbi says, “you’re right”.
smartcookie – you’re right, it’s wrong to bash anyone, especially ex’s when can’t hear other side. (people who work with marriage counseling, always say that if just hear one side, always think the other side must be horrible as this side is so great.
But …. s2021 is also right. She and others have been very hurt – we don’t have to know the ins and outs of the situation – we’re not the judge. what she’s asking now is for support. if someone was abused by someone, and they see close relatives and friends who should be supporting them, supporting the ex. – it can be extremely painful. maybe, she could have taken it better from you, if you first would have acknowledged how painful that is and then (several days later? 🙂 help her realize that her friends and relatives may not know what she went through, and as she herself knows, her ex. can be quite “charming”.
but s2021, even though you’re feeling intense pain, please don’t attack others (except for grandma – attack away ;)) – smartcookie meant well and did not mean to hurt you, though was obviously hurt by your statement.