Shrek.In short:
1.well-hidden(many abusers are charmers winning you over)
2.many things WERE THE SEEDS OF PATTERNS but I had no way of knowing it then
3.we were told he was a “future gadol”,so I kept thinking I must be flawed,and kept trying to improve myself
4.when I realized HE HAD SOME SERIOUS ISSUES,they were white-washed by one and all
5.as I became more distraught from the relentless abuse and severe sleep deprivation,he told others my increasing emotionalism “proved how crazy I was”
6.about a zillion other factors