Aries,
I didn’t twist your words – I know that you think it’s the right thing to pay. You also think though, that there is no “going rate” and there is no specific minimum amount without prior agreement, and on this you are wrong. If you think, as does Wolfish Musings, that it is wise to make clear the financial expectations in advance, I can understand that (although, as I stated, I also understand why shadchanim are uncomfortable doing so).
However, if someone did not do so, the parents are still obligated according to halacha (not “merely” yashrus) to pay according to the going rate (albeit the lower end of the normal range).
I’m sorry if you think I twisted your words.