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bla: it’s possible that taking time off from school may become necessary, for now let’s assume you will start school and try to work academically. First you need to stop letting your imagination go wild as to exactly how circumstances will be once you are in school. The fact is, you simply don’t know the future, including exactly what school will be like this year. Even if you have had repetitive experiences in the past, it doesn’t guarantee everything will repeat this year. Take each event, emotion, as it occurs, don’t anticipate so much that might happen, until you are in a fever because of your imagination. That being said, you do need to immediately connect with someone who will be of long term assistance to you. I’m wondering if this is a case of “been to therapists, psychiatrists, taken meds, etc. and nothing helped?” If not, then it is certainly time to try to find someone you can confide in, whether a relative, friend, Rabbi or Rebbetzin, or mental health practitioner.