Derech, while I respect the way you stated your perspective (not, like some others here, determining that “the other” is worthy of denigration) even though you disagree with their actions, I think there is a fundamental issue at play here, and a serious one, that you illustrate. One perspective is that not only are the general structures and many pratim of our daily lives circumscribed and detailed to the smallest iota by our mesorah, but our thoughts, intentions, and expressions of joy within holocho are as well, down to the tiniest details. I accept that many people, many communities, see that as the only way to live their lives, and the best way, according to their understanding of the mesorah. I would ask, though, how does such an environment deal with change? I’ll take something simple. A heimishe family dpoesn’t often have the opportunity to eat out of the home, at a restaurant. For many of our families, being large, it is an impossibility. One of the ways in which our families have been able to afford this is the growth and popularity of pizza among heimishe communities. Now, you know and I know that pizza is and was completely foreign to the conveyors of our mesorah less than 100 years ago. You and I also know that there is plenty of detail in terms of holocho and minhag that guides what and how we eat in detail. And yet, it is a rare kehila or community indeed that bans pizza as minhag akum, or ‘past nisht”. I know, I know, this is a simplistic example. But truly, it speaks to the issue. It doesn’t violate holocho. Eventually, Rabonim got their heads around it to the point of making determinations of how many slices require a mezonos and how many a hamotzi. It didn’t need to be a michshol simply because it was a chidush. This leads to my point. As I wrote earlier, I got and aliyah, named my daughters, made a kiddush in shul. I have my own minhag which I am comfortable with. But if there is at least some precedent; if the activities are within the boundaries of halocho, even if they are different than some minhagim; if the event is done lesheim shomayim and with real hakoras hatov to HKBH; is it against halocho to do it? And further – what are we doing investing generations of time, money, resources and sweat creating mosdos and places where our kinderlach learn how to learn, learn how to find teshuvos, learn how to apply what they learn to their lives, if we are just going to tell them to as their LOR what colour shoelaces to wear, or which side of a table to sit down at? What was the point of all of that effort if we and our children won’t be expected to use our seichel and our capacity to find guidance in the massive canon of halocho to help us make decisions in our lives?
Menu