First of all, please be careful with details. This is not a live chat. Whatever gets put up here is here to stay (until someone decides to take it down).
Now, it seems to me that many people have this attitude that an abuser is a sort of humanoid being that is born to punch. However, as Cheftza pointed out, a good reading and following of your story shows that you are married for at least seven years, and the situation deteriorated over the past two years. You mention other factors as well.
It is important that you got in touch with whomever you did, and hopefully things will Bezras Hashem improve greatly. The point I want to make is that you shouldn’t think of him as a monster. What drives a woman to sully in bed on Shabbos noon, drives a man to become vicious. It is obvious that a build up of tensions of two years (at least), drove him insane.
Hashem said to Adam, ???? ??? ???? ?????. The Medrash asks that we don’t find that Chava told Adam anything. The Medrash explains that she was about to cry. From this Medrash you can gain an understanding of how deep a wife can get into her husbands psyche, with subtle nags and whimpers. The immense pressure put on Adam by the fact that he is about to make her cry made him sin. And that is without having an internal Yetzer Hara. Here too, don’t underestimate the effect of the home atmosphere on his inner turmoil.
Just keep in mind that the situation is far from too far. And as essy8 said, don’t let the negative and scary premonitions discourage you. Most people attribute their own stories to everybody else. There is no reason to think that you are living someone else’s life story.