I feel so sorry for you. i didn’t get to read everyones posts, so maybe someone said this already.
i know it’s hard, very hard. but i don’t think the cops is the way to go.
if you feel like you are ready to end the marriage (and if you think so, just make sure you realize what that means and what it can bring like custody issues, money issues and you say his controlling, so that doesn’t help.bear in mind that he might terrorize the kids, try to kidnap them, sike them against you, drill into them to hate you etc.) it’s really heartbreaking.
if he says you could work things out, then in some way or another, convince yourselves to seek professional help from a team of psychologists and therapists – as hard as it may be, and as expensive as it may be. this might be the solution.
chances are that at this stage you will need family rehab.
obviously, your spouse is missing something very basic. it can be an emotional or physical or both. if his need will be fullfilled, everything will begin to be fine.
maybe he wants to feel more respected? more usefull? more important? more bossy? or many other things. it might be hard, but by filling that emptiness as hard as it may be, your salvation will come slowly.
also, your talking it out to someone, and getting chizuk from a strong trusted person, may help you heal the wounds and rebuild your relationship. I know that confidential hotlines exist, just donno which ones. do your research.
i wish you much hatzlacha and siata dishmaya from the depths of my heart. may there be no more suffering umongst our nation.
please post when things are going good too.
P.S. i’m sorry i can’t give you chizuk, but my heart is broken now.