Reply To: Very disturbing, please only kind people read.

I spoke last night to a Rav who is a MIMCHA in shalom bayis who is doing this 24/7 with others. Very experienced.

He pointed out to me that its important we/he gets very professional counselling to alleviate the internal pressures that are resulting in this kind of behavior. (Just as HaLeivi explained above). He also said that people can make serious mistakes and this doesn’t mean we run to break up the home. We try to fix it. I agree. And you must understand, as I now do that it was not maliciously intented! And how do I know? well listen to this…. last night when he was not home, my daughter and I were in her room at bedtime rehashing the story, as we were standing by the bed and wall which were involved and she said “No mommy, He didn’t know as I had hit my head. ” Meaning yes, he pulled her (with authoritative force) by the hand to bring her out of the room (as she & he explained me) and which resulted in her hitting the door frame, but he wasn’t aware she had hit her head on the door frame because he was leading her out of the room, while facing the hall, pulling her out with one hand.

And that is what he has been saying over and over to me. And now my daughter said it. Now the truth comes out! she said that he wasn’t aware. I feel a bit bad having accused him of deliberately smashing her.

And there have been NO further conversations between the father and daughter on this. So him “contaminating” her with brainwashing as to what happened is out of the picture. How do I know? I am the mother and know whose sitting where and talking what because I am always around the kids. Our abode is not so huge that we have a north and south wing of any kind. There can be no private conversations without me knowing my husband and child are talking something somewhere.

But just as the Rav said, I will pursue the advice of getting a professional involved. because of the fact there are still other issues.

Flowers, and Aries. I am sorry. I felt bad after I wrote it. However some of the suggestions thrown in Aries statements were far fetched and utterly ridiculous and I lost my patience for it.

Please forgive me Aries, I still want to be good with you.

But one cannot expect a person to hear ideas of having syndromes that aren’t relative to the situation. Its good to hear from professionals their opinions rather on these things.

I know Shalom Task Force is necessary and probablly a very good thing, but the lady there jumped in with a dramatic undertaking, advising me to see that this whole relationship/ situation is not normal, and not healthy, and that I have to have a back up safety plan to escape if necessary and I feel its all kind of like overly jumping the gun and making a mountain out of a molehill.

She didn’t really use logic like a man giving advice would. She was using emotion.