Hi arwsf.
I am very sorry for what you and your children are going through. I will daven for things to get better.
I could not read much past when you described the bump on your daughter’s head. I cannot read much into the responses, which I am sure are all supportive, so I apologize for any redundancy.
You must make your home situation known for the sake of your children and you and eventually your husband to get at what is eating him.
Firstly, secondly, and thirdly, you must protect your children and yourself.
It would probably be better to go within the Jewish community, right away.
If that does not help, then he needs to be removed and go to the appropriate counseling or whatever they do.
It is not an easy thing to do, as I know you know the good side to him too and hope that his most recent episode is his last.
The environment you described will erode on the children’s development if they continue to be part of such horrible scenes.
You need to feel your children are safe.
He needs to keep himself on being a human being and I am sure sulks even more after he does what he does. He needs help and to delve into why he is doing this, while the rest of the family is safe and secure.
If he is owning up to this problem, then demand you both go speak to someone. If he seems like a stranger and is not owning up to it, then you and the children need to speak to someone, and he has to stay somewhere until he chills out and gets help.
It’s bad now. Please dont wait to at least speak to a leader in your community.
Oy! I wish there was something I could do to help.
May Hashem restore the peacefulness to your family and home.