I didn’t want to post here, as I am not a professional and others can do a much better job than myself. HOWEVER
You need to protect your children. Having a backup plan is one of the smartest things you can possibly do (in any situation).
I’m also going to suggest a (somewhat long) vacation without the children, Assuming your DH is just out of his league, and unable to cope with your (I’m sure) normal acting children. This is not uncommon in the slightest (which is one of the reasons why many Rabbonim approve BC). A reset in his mind caused by some time (2-3 weeks, maybe even a month) without the children underfoot & only you his spouse at his side will do him (and you) much good, assuming his issues are stress related & not abuse, (Echoing Kollel Wife) but you do need a professional to figure it out.
I wish you Hatzlacha, and whatever your decision may be, may Hashem make it the right one for you & your family.