apushatayid:
Since we came to such good agreement on the other thread, let’s do that here also.
You should agree that: Nothing the boys are doing is limiting the options of the girls in any way. This is because the girls do not normally agree or disagree to any other dates as a result of what the other boys are doing.
I will agree that: The current system, for whatever reason it exists, kind of stinks for the girls. They never have any idea what is going on in the boys thinking, and give their information to a shadchan and just never hear anything. They sit there wondering if the guy will go out with them, and never hear back with a no. They feel like they are hanging in limbo.
You should agree that: This is not the boys fault, and the boys really cannot do anything to solve it. Since, when a boy is approached with 5 girls within one week, it would really make little sense for him to say “yes” to one, and “no” to the others. The reason is that after he goes out with the first, he might want to go out with the second. Or third.
The only adjustment I could see made, would be for a guy who knows he will never go out with a girl to send back a “no.” This is often done informally, when a shadchan calls with a bad idea, you just say “no.” I suppose the shadchan sometimes calls the girl and tells them.
I don’t really know if this proposed adjustment is a good thing. It would depend on whether girls like getting rejected by guys they haven’t even asked to go out with. (Shprintze visits a shadchan on Tuesday. On Friday, shrpintze gets a phone-call where shadchan recites the names of 7 guys who do not want to go out with her.)
Agree?