I have been bewildered by the discussion on this matter. Clearly, the specific ‘hanhogos’ go way beyond what is expected of couples and , if someone , i.e. gerrer chassdim, or anyone else for that matter, wants to follow it- it is their option. What i do not understand is why this is considered more “kedusha and taharah”. Are you telling me that the tanai-im, rishonim, going all the way to the avos, had less “kedusha and taharah”?
Without going into detail, tevilat ezra was instituted for a modicum of restraint and yet, it didn’t succeed as a halacha- did all the talmidim of that time have less kedusah and tahara? certainly not- kedusha and tahara are not measured by chumros.