I’ll probably surprise some here by weighing in on the side of Satmar and seeing this unfortunate young woman’s book as more of a publicity stunt and way to make a buck or two than a real cry for help about real problems in the community, as opposed to in her family.
Now, undoubtedly there are some truths in her book; undoubtedly there are some half truths and exaggerations; but what I see is familial dysfunction and the fear instilled in the woman at a young age by instability and a domineering grandfather. That could happen in any community, of any religion, race, or ethnicity.
I don’t agree with the Satmar shitoh on many things. In particular I am saddened by their perspective on Israel and Zionism. But though I am as far from Satmer as can be (My father used to say that Galitzia is worlds away from Hungary, never mind the map), I can recognize that there is much to be praised, and one example in particular stands out. As a woman, and as someone who now feels comfortable in the “outside” world, the writer would know that the chesed network created and run by Satmar women serving patients in hospitals around NYC is second to none and is exemplary in demonstrating ahavas chinom. She ignores it.
Let me be clear. There is legitimate room for criticism, some of it necessarily harsh, and truths to be spoken aloud about the Satmar community – as there is for the chabad, or litvish, other chassidish, or MO communities. All of us and our communities are far from perfect, and I do not believe that brushing problems under the carpet is a good idea for anyone. But doing what she did in the manner in which she did it served a personal agenda and nothing more, is more about personal crisis and personal anger than real philosophical challenges, and accomplishes little or nothing to address the real challenges we face.