Well, Cheftze, You may be right about a CR denizen’s capacity to argue with an authority from an earlier generation, but I’d question anyone who argues with Hillel Hazoken – who clarifies veohavto loreacho komocho as meaning that which is hateful to you should not do to another – and unless it is ok to all that the woman should dominate the man (also unhealthy), these opinions would seem to argue with not only a tanna, but perhaps the most important tanna of the entire mishnaic era.
Another of our greatest tannoim was Rabbi Akiva, and as you know we are now in a period of mourning for 24,000 of his students, who died, we are told, because they didn’t show proper honor to others. How is dominating a wife honoring her?
For further reference you can look at the instruction of R’Yehuda Ibn Tibon, a Rishon, to his son on how he should treat his wife – I won’t go into detail, but it is a clear tzivui to treat her with honor, respect, and appreciation. As he said, to act otherwise is contemptible.
You may also want to look at gemoro gittin, daf 6 omud beis, beginning with rav chisda’s warning about how to treat your household, or Bava Metzia daf 59 omud alef for similar positions from two other amoroim.
So Cheftze, to conclude, I’m basing my position on tannoim, amoroim, and rishonim… How about you?