Patri, Your position is that since such words were written by a Rabbinic Authority, who could be considered a godol (though the criteria is unclear, as someone might consider Rav Kook, Rav Herzog, Rav Goren, or Rav Shteinzaltz a godol, and others may not, and the same arguments have happened before (consider if Rav Yaakov Pollack considered Rav Avrohom Mintz a godol when he put him in cherem, but now we consider both to have been gedolim). They are the absolute and only derech to follow. Since you “accept what the quoted seforim state”, you have indeed taken a position. Your passive/aggressive “its them not me” approach is disingenuous, and not particularly effective as a rhetorical tool, either.
Your refusal to answer the question about the issue in Psachim I have now brought to your attention twice tells me that you agree with absolute authority when it suits your agenda, but not when it leads to the conclusion that you may have double standards…
As for “falsely wrapping 20th century beliefs”, I am sorry that you consider honor, respect, and partnership in a marriage to be false 20th century beliefs. another 20th century belief was totalitarianism. plug that into a household and you get a reasonable facsimile of what you are advocating.