Reply To: what people look for in shidduch dating

mw13 – you’re welcome.

That’s not what I meant. One shouldn’t TRY to be a businessman or a rosh yeshiva. One should TRY to do whatever the ratzon Hashem is for themselves. Whether that ends up being a rosh yeshiva or a businessman is irrelevant to their reward in Olam Haba, as long as they honestly followed ratzon Hashem in choosing their life path.

Same thing for a lady. She shouldn’t TRY to marry a rosh yeshiva or TRY to marry a businessman. She should TRY to do the ratzon Hashem. That means supporting Torah as much as she can. If making the sacrifices necessary in marrying a rosh yeshiva also means being miserable for her, then the ratzon Hashem for her is to NOT marry a rosh yeshiva. Maybe it’s to marry a rebbe or shul rabbi who has a guaranteed salary. Maybe it’s in marrying a businessman. She can support Torah in other ways, and still be a happy, functional, tzadeikes and eved Hashem, without marrying the gadol hador.

To often do we focus on ideals that don’t necessarily apply to us, and lose focus of the main picture which DOES apply to us. We aren’t here to learn Torah. We aren’t here to do mitzvos. We aren’t here to be happy. We are here to do the ratzon Hashem – which happens to be learning Torah, doing mitzvos, and being happy.