PostSemGirl. Please don’t assume everything I say is applicable specifically to you. These are just generalizations, and considerations. No one makes all the mistakes. But many people make some mistake(s). Just examine the message, and see if it has meaning for your own particular situation.
I do completely agree with you. There is absolutely nothing fair about the system.
At no time in history was life particularly fair to all the people, all of the time. So we do what we have to do, in order to survive.
If there is any bitterness, it’s very natural. But still try to throw all your trust in Hashem. I have found that when I have overcome my anxiety or negative thoughts, and finally stated to myself and Hashem that I am now fully placing my trust in Him, good things happen. There are no obstacles for Him. He can work with the numbers. And He knows some good guys. But when that good guy shows up at your door, in whatever (reasonable) condition, drag him into the house, lock the door, and get your shotgun. Proceed to escort him to the chupah.