ilovetheholyland and cofeefan: I’m really sorry you had these experiences. Everyone is entitled to their preferences but I think its completely unacceptable for a guy to tell off a girl for looks/weight! I don’t usually like to give musser to others but if you’re a guy and you’ve done this before, next time show some sensitivity and make something up!!! You know girls take looks very personally, just as you may take you’re level of intelligence/level of learning/etc very seriously as well! And for the life of me I don’t understand why the shadchan would pass that on the the girl! Also-make something up!
And while on the topic of looks, I would like to say as a guy who often gets pictures I have found them to be misleading in 75% of the time, probably half for the better and half for the worst. Personally if I see that the girl looks at least OK in the picture I don’t give that area any more thought as most people look different in real life. That being said, I do think girls should do their hishtadlus in this area and if you’re in circles that give out pictures- make sure they’re really good- have a male relative pick them out or something.