fedex11204 – I agree with the last part; you should be able to expect the same in your spouse in areas that you work hard in.
However, with the first part, what IF the weight did come from a lack of discipline & irresponsibility? How would that be any worse than guys having poor middos due to a lack of discipline & being irresponsible?
ILoveTheHolyLand – I think that the point is proven that not everyone has the same priorities. It’s just that simple. However, my rabbi says that “Every pot has it’s lid”. I believe him, therefore I don’t get stressed out.
You have no idea how much I ‘used’ to wish that I came from a Torah-observant upbringing & a family with million$ of dollar$ (to me, that’s what it seems that most of the women that I’ve met are after).
But I found that it’s all a blessing, since I now have a greater appreciation for baal teshuvas…most people have no idea how many struggles that they go through; they get hardship from both the non-religious & the religious crowds, plus the many internal struggles. But now that I’ve been through it, I am one that can help them, since I’m familiar with how it feels.
And since I wasn’t raised with much money…well, it’s a blessing that most people wish they could understand.
Either way, I’m confident that H-shem has created my wife as someone that will find all of this as qualities in me & not count them as defieciencies.