binahyeseira- granted its shayich some of these comments could be perceived as “hurtful” but that’s the beauty of the CR is that its not personal- & the truth is easier to convey in these circumstances. That said, condoning the notion that “she just wants to know if her bashert will like her because of who she is?” & “that should not be the focus of these wonderful girls” is dangerously misguided. True a girl should and can expect that her “bashert” will like her i.e. her personality and non-physical attributes. However, to presume a guy, even her “bashert” to like/ be attracted to a girl who doesn’t do her due diligence to be attractive is preposterous! Perhaps the “bashert” should also be attracted to her without make up, wearing her shlumpiest clothing too?! Clearly there is something called “hishtadlus” and presupposing that A. most guys are attracted to thin girls, & B. it is within her ability than to be “thin”- than it would seem to fall under that umbrella. Granted if “metabolism, medication, insulin, etc.” prevented success hishtadlus wouldn’t require that result.
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