yentinyenta
Well your house sounds like a fun place and in truth its very difficult for kids to relate to the seriousness of a mitzvah and therefore the gifts and all the other stuff helps them feel excited about Yomtov (I dont know if this is the right approach or not, however I personally think we overemphasize the outer trappings and make too little stress on the importance of the mitzvah and what its all about).
Maybe try to push for singing Maoz Tzur. That may add some meaning for the family. For yourself though to feel “into” any Mitzvah you have to be involved in it. Know what its about and why we are doing it. I think it would be beneficial to think for a minute or 2 before lighting about why we are lighting, and try to feel thankful to Hashem for all the goodness he has done and constantly does for us, and that we live in a country where we can light a Menorah and keep the Torah to our hearts content as opposed to living under the Greeks who made it illegal under the penalty of death to do many of the mitzvos, as well as the Avodah in the beis Hamikdosh and specifically the lighting of the Menorah. You can also dwell on the fact that a little light dispels much darkness. Not only is this true in a physical sense, but it is even more true spiritually. You with your Menorah lighting are doing the will of Hashem and bringing more Godly light into the world and chasing away some of the darkness that is so prevalent in the world today. You are making a difference.
Im glad you have decided to light this year and I hope it will be more meaningful than ever.