I am currently going out with a fine young woman. Although we seem to be a good match, I have a major concern. Every time we sit and talk, she can’t seem to take her eyes off of my socks. What can this mean? Should I be concerned?
Signed,
Gedalia Greystroke
Dear Gedalia,
First of all, how many times must I tell people not to use their real names? Aren’t you aware that there are trolls and stalkers out there?
Signed,
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Signed,
M. T. Kupp
Dear Kupp,
Signed,
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My favorite pair of white socks now stand up by themselves and their color has changed to coal-black.
My friends tell me it’s time to wash them, but they are my favorite pair and I really don’t want to take them off. What should I do?
Signed,
Massoud Masriach
Dear Massoud,
While your well-meaning friends may have a point, you must be true to yourself. One of the advantages of your current sartorial style is that you will be given ample personal space wherever you go. Besides, who knows? Some folks may actually find black socks preferable.
Signed,