No, I never confronted her. It only stopped when/because I wasn’t there. If I went back to visit, it started again, and if not with me than with someone else (she hates everyone, not just me). After I had been out of the house for several years, I married and we became frum after that. She was and has been horrible to us because we became frum as well, but after several years she could see we were raising children with good middos. I think she also understood that she was only seeing us a couple times a year because of her general demeanor.
I got myself into therapy before we had our kids because I was terrified of being the same kind of mother she was. I kept hearing ‘oh, you could never be that way because you know what it’s like’, but I didn’t trust myself. Turns out my MIL has some BPD traits, and that has been gehinnom at times. The most helpful things have been a good frum therapist and living several hundred miles away.
The harder she pressures you to stay, the harder you need to work to establish yourself far away from her. Maybe make aliyah from seminary if you can. I don’t even know if that’s possible – I’m just saying it because it would be easier to stay gone when you’re already gone. I know how long it’s taken me to cope with the after effects of the years of abuse, and anything you can do now to help yourself is a gift you are giving your husband and kids in the future iy”H.