aproudbyg, I don’t think you are understanding how damaging your mother’s behavior is to you. The denial you are in, is distressing to see. To summarize from what I can see, your mother very often, hits you lightly, up to the point of breaking your clothes, and s soft choking motion, and we assume yells very often, you haven’t said much about that, and is there more? IOW, she treats you not as a daughter or a human being, or even a pet dog, but she abuses you via her power over you are her mother.
This is sickening to hear about and I for one, would like you to contact Ohel, or any of the numbers you were given, TODAY.
If you cannot do this today, please explain what is holding you back.
You mentioned Chilull Hashem, or fear that she lose her job. None of these justify her continuation of these abuses.
Remember, this is a public website. Aproudbyg is correct to not post details she does not want the larger public to know. She should seek help, but is not obligated to inform us of what, how, when, or why. No identifying information will be posted.