<3 !!!
People used to say the same things to me all the time:
“why dont you call the police?” ” you have to go to therapy right now !!”
and i remember feeling like “why dont you live 5 minutes in my life, and then go back to telling me what to do!”
You sound like a smart girl with a good head. with time I think you will figure out what you need to do for you.
One thing I do strongly suggest is a mentor figure. In high school I reached out and became close to a Rabbi, and a female teacher. My friends used to joke that they became my “mom and dad”.. I also went out of my comfort zone and would spend time talking with my school social worker. I would speak with her about anything, whether midterms or problems at home. I can say with certainty that these three people are what helped me move forward in life and grow into a well functioning, healthy and happy person.
Best of luck to you.
For what its worth, I am here to listen to whatever you want to post.