sw33t- People used to say the same things to me all the time: “why dont you call the police?” ” you have to go to therapy right now !!”
and i remember feeling like “why dont you live 5 minutes in my life, and then go back to telling me what to do!”
thanks for putting my niggling discomfort into words.
aproudbyg- feel free to disagree with me here
but i also felt that way sw33t. That people make assumptions. think the worst. tell me i’m destroying myself. But they don’t really know my life. the details. the way i react, and my personality. my interactions with my mother. how bad or how often things may happen.
aproudbyg mentioned the shirt and throat incidents. i am NOT justifying it even if it was only once, but from some of the reactions here, it seems people are saying that if she doesn’t get help, be it mentor or police,or get out of her house by the end of the week, she is being suicidal, or it may be “too late”. she didn’t say how often outbursts occur, but people assume every time she sees her mother, her mother yells at her. that her entire pesach is going to be misery with not a moment of peace. That it’s imperative that she records incidents (is there any legal issue there btw?), because of the ‘likelihood’ that she’ll need it in the future.
perhaps we should all take a step back, including myself. aproudbyg said she knows the next step and is working on implementing it. she doesn’t want to get the police involved (B”H!) or go to a rav yet(speaking to myself here), so we can stop pushing those. She knows who she wants to approach, and will as soon as she can. perhaps we can encourage a positive outlook to pesach? perhaps it will be overall more good than bad? I feel like we’re pushing a fearful and negative attitude, when the positive emuna and outlook she already has are the best ones she CAN have.
aproudbyg seems quite smart, clearheaded, and ready to act. Let’s show some trust in her, and give her the space to get her thoughts and emotions together to make that step, without criticizing her decision of when and how to act next.