My marriage recently ended, and at the outset of the separation things were pretty ugly. Nonetheless, and after working on reconciling for a number of months, and finally determining the marriage was over, I gave the get and would never have held it over her head, even if I had had to fight tooth and nail in beis din, court, or anywhere else for my rights (b’h didn’t work out that I had to). It is just wrong and flies in the face of everything that I believe about yashrus and treating a fellow human being, even one I couldn’t live with anymore, with respect. It would have been a terrible lesson to our children, who are old enough to understand the implications of withholding. My relationship with them and the respect I hope they will have for me is worth more than the leverage a get presents. I can see no valid reson for withholding a get. If there arte circumstances where the woman is acting in a cruel and manipulative way, there are other, better means to fight, that don’t compromise the conscience or dishonour the soul.
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