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@the-art-of-moi—Thank you! I am not planning to post often, I spend time with my siblings, family and friends away from a screen. it’s interesting you bring up kabbalah, because it is right up my alley, I don’t know either.
@Torahrocks–It was a pretty brutal awakening to show how much words have power. I am obviously not giving a complete story as to avoid Lashon Hara and hurting people’s feelings. I am also not justifying my act, just publicizing it so others will realize the “reality” of the situation.
@sharp—ur comment quite ironic based on screen name, it is “lol” now as I reflect back. However considering it was Hoshana Rabba, the “awakening” hit me pretty hard and it was not something to laugh about. As I get older and more mature, the whole month of Tishrei takes on a new perspective and honestly got quite scared. Because it is something, that brought the truth out, I don’t think I will ever laugh about it. It is true I was little offended at first, but you were forgiven literally 3 seconds later.
I would also like to thank all those who commented so far, it gives me strength to go on.