Home › Forums › Shidduchim › A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up
Chein, is the education usually a cause or effect of the lack of success?
The pursuit of a higher education is often the reason she delays her shidduchim.
Chein -“Unfortunately they become highly educated but unmarried.”
“The pursuit of a higher education is often the reason she delays her shidduchim.”
I disagree. I think most learning guys want college girls because they can bring home the bucks. Also, I don’t think a lot of them delay going out because she is in school. The third over 25 are probably mostly non-college girls.
I’m talking about girls going for more than a bachelors. They’re going for a Ph.D. or a masters, and they put shidduchim on the ice so they can focus on the education. This causes them to age and by time they are ready to look for a shidduch it is so much tougher for them.
(It could be some of them aren’t even consciously making a decision to delay shidduchim, and they are in fact nominally looking for a shidduch while trying to become a doctor or lawyer or whatever. Nevertheless, that pursuit often takes their focus away and does delay their shidduch. When they finally are finished with their schooling, the quality men are married and even the raw numbers itself is insufficient if we accept the age gap problem.)
Another related point is that very often the highly educated girls think so highly of themselves that they feel all the men they are dating are beneath them, causing them to simply reject everyone.
Chein, based on your last paragraph, then, it would seem that part of the problem is demand-side, which seems to be something that gets lost in the mix when people focus on the upper hand of the males.
Isn’t Rabeinu Gershom’s five hundred year takana over? (only one wife allowed) Wouldn’t this solve the crisis? Even if this is legally prohibited aren’t there ways to get around it?
a
The cherem expired (according to Shulchan Aruch) at the year 5000. (About 750 years ago.)