Abandoned Kids???

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  • #588348

    Im absolutely Horrified!

    I was shopping on 13th Avenue yesterday and upon entering a well famous childrens’ clothing store I realized there was a double carriage with 2 innocent, young babies inside it, parked in front of the store all by itself, without any supervision at all.

    How does such a thing happen? The carriage looked as if it belonged to no one, and just about anyone could have walked off with it without anyone realizing. I couldnt believe my eyes!

    First of all, the danger of a kidnapper. And this wasn’t only one precious child, it was two!

    Second of all, the risk of a cop passing and seeing this, the parents would automatically be charged with child abuse.

    It really doesnt matter how important it was for that mother to enter that store. Nothing is more important than her kids. Why is she even buying clothes for them if they might be gone by the time she leaves that store with her newest purchases chas vsholom?

    There is no way I can be Dan Lkaf Zechus in this situation.

    Now, I’m not this type to stand up in public and speak, but I knew I had to do this.

    I walked into the store and announced:”Does the double carriage outside belong to anyone? If a cop passes…..” and I just shook my head not wanting to finish my sentence.

    Some of you reading this might have seen me there. You might recall the incident. The store was full of shoppers. And I’m really sorry if the mother herself is reading this. I must publicize this incident for the public to learn from it.

    Please Nashim Tzidkanios. Our children are our whole life. What is more important than family? Your eyes must be upon your kids 24 hours a day, and I mean that literally. Sent them to Shul in pjs, but never leave them unattended while shopping. I know it’s difficult, I have kids of my own B”H, but if you know how precious they are, you guard them like diamonds!!

    May Hashem watch over our children and guard them form harm.

    #990529
    feivel
    Participant

    you did a brave and caring thing

    “May Hashem watch over our children and guard them form harm”

    Amen

    #990530
    yossi
    Member

    muchcommonsense – i am glad you bring this up, but sadly, that was not an uncommon event. In areas like boro park and flatbush i routinely see baby carriages outside stores, with the baby’s strapped in, and the parent shopping inside. Sometimes its to place a large order, other times it is to “run in for one second”

    Clearly, this is inexcusable. This is child abandonment and reckless. I would not hesitate to call the authorities if i see a baby abandoned outside a store. there is NO excuse, ever. The amount of damage that can be done to a child who is taken far exceeds any commandment to not report a Jew to authorities, or any “embarrassment” for the parent involved.

    This is just one of many serious behaviors I have seen from jewish and non jewish alike. We can add this to the list of driving with children not strapped into car seats, driving with a baby on your lap, allowing children to hang onto shopping carts in store (40,000 children go to the ER every year from shopping cart injuries) – just to name a few. How can you claim to love your child, and yet not do everything in your power to protect him?

    Children are innocent and not able to protect ourselves. If you wont leave your pile of cash outside the store while you shop, please don’t leave your baby outside either!!

    #990531
    feivel
    Participant

    “I would not hesitate to call the authorities if i see a baby abandoned outside a store”

    I think that would be a proper and good thing to do.

    but it is a VERY serious act.

    anyone considering doing this should ask a shaila from a competent posik first.

    #990532
    mdlevine
    Member

    similiar concept – different type.

    How many times do you walk through a grocery store and see a shopping cart, with a kid not properly secured AND either standing or starting to stand in the seating area, at the end of the aisle while the shopper (men or women) is “just getting one thing” down the aisle.

    As muchcommonsense did, I too make a BIG fuss over this and make sure that the parent sees me doing this so that they will be more careful next time.

    #990533
    shindy
    Member

    This issue…leaving the kids outside while mommy shops, has been going on for a long time. I am just wondering, if a police officer walks by a child left alone in a stroller, can they be ticketed or face charges? Maybe if the mothers were afraid of facing a fine and having to pay $100 for the first time, and more for subsequent times, this trend will stop. Not that I want any of my fellow Jewish mothers to pay money, but better that than the kids be kidnapped.

    Much common sense, can you please forward your letter to the yated? They have a readers write section, many women read this. The address is [email protected]ted.com I would do it myself but it’s not my letter…

    #990534

    Shindy- A parent that leaves a child alone on the street would not only be fined, but I heard that they can be arrested on the spot. When a child abuse case is opened, it’s no fun at all. They take away the other siblings from the parents until the matter is resolved. (I heard about a few Heimishe cases already)

    BTW- I just remembered another such an incident in front of a Boro Park toy store. Just as I was passing, I noticed, also a double carriage which had a two yr old girl in there and a very tiny newborn boy. The mother was inside, shopping toys for her “PRECIOUS KINDERLACH”(she buys them toys but leaves them unattended).

    Worse, as I was looking on I noticed the girl fidgeting in her seat impatiently and as a result the carriage tumbled side down! Yes, The newborn fell out! Onto the cement sidewalk. Luckily this was in the winter and the child was well bundled sparing himself I dont even want to think what.

    As I picked up the baby, my husband ran into the store to bring the mother to her senses!

    This is no joke! Very sad story. I’m so happy the end wasn’t sad! B”H everyone is well. But are we waiting for something to happen Chas vsholom?

    #990535

    BTW Shindy- I did forward this letter to the Yated editor after you suggested it. Thank you.

    #990536
    shindy
    Member

    Mdlevine, did you read the letter I think it was in the mishpacha or bina, about this woman who was shopping and all of a sudden did not see her stroller (with baby inside). The stroller had been right next to her and then poof it disappeared! The baby and stroller were found a few stores down, nothing happened boruch Hashem.

    #990537
    mdlevine
    Member

    shindy – no I did not see the letter. my post was not so much as to a disappearence perspective as the letter writter and muchcommonsense wrote about. My guess is that a shopping cart is around 3 – 3&1/2 feet from the seating area to the ground. The floor is usually time on top of concrete (not very soft) if a child is left unattended, they could CV’S tumble over and cause (very) serious damage to themselves.

    May HaShem watch over all of us and keep all of us safe and secure!

    #990538
    oomis
    Participant

    Not only can the person be arrested, but they can lose custody of their kids, and CPS can take the children away. All it takes is one phone call from someone who sees the children unsupervised. The moms have no idea how serious this can be. I know someone who had a lot of trouble because they went out bowling, and left their 12 year old daughter babysitting. The burglar alarm went off for some reason, and the cops came and decided the children were left unsafely. IMO that was an extreme reaction, and having babysat at age 11, myself, I don’t think that CPS should have been called, but kal v’chomer when two little babies are left alone, this is so much worse. There is NO shopping that is so important that a mother or father have a right to do this.

    #990539
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Last year two tourists from Sweden were arrested in Manhattan for child abandonment for leaving their child outside a store.

    #990540
    shindy
    Member

    wow, is this being sent to the yated? very important to talk about and remind people not to do this. And we should all do as this person did, go into the store and tell them it’s dangerous! who wants CPS on your back, uch!

    #990541

    Shindy, i witnessed that incident myself too(the baby that disappeared into another store.)I work in an office on top of that store and saw it all from the window.

    It was so frightening to say the least. My workmates were all standing there and shivering.

    The mother was very lucky that she fled the scene after finding her baby, just a few minutes before the police arrived. I’m glad she didnt get into trouble but I hope this was a lesson for her and all.

    #990542
    mdlevine
    Member

    another thing to be aware of is Chol HaMoed trips (or anytime of the year) and stops for rest rooms or gas.

    When we stop and kids need the facilities or at the end of the trip and we are getting ready to go home, being as we do not count people directly, we do a sound off. I make each kid confirm that their seat belt has been buckled. I call out in age order (either direction) and wait for a positive response from each before moving on. an older kid will confirm for a young child that the belt is really buckled and the one sitting next to the baby will confirm for the baby.

    This helps in 2 ways: 1) nobody is left behind and 2) everybody is safely buckled in.

    #990544
    ses
    Member

    feivel,

    did u actually say to ask a poseik first?

    lets tell all these stupid mothers to ask a poseik firtst if they are allowed to leave their children unatteneded while they shop. in the process, they could be kidnapped, molested, etc.

    i’d rather subject the mother to a night in jail so she can learn her lesson, then to have a child suffer a lifetime for a selfish mistake on his mothers part.

    #990545
    mariner
    Member

    similar story, i was in the zoo, and i see a stroller with what could be no more then a 2 year old strapped in screaming his brains out, so i go over. the kid didnt look jewish per se. i start yelling out loud if this child belongs to anyone, and start to dial 911. all of the sudden, out comes a heimishe family from an exhibit that has an enter and exit in a uni-directional tunnel. meaning, they left the kid outside, entered this circular tunnel that exits in the same point. this kid could have been taken. the parents actually gave me a look, like who am i to butt in. i was seriously considering still calling 911. these parents have no brains in their head. this was in the bronx, are they nuts? people, if you see this happen, go into the store and yell on the top of your lungs!

    store owners, allow for an area in the front of the store for strollers. would you like it on your cheshbon if you had just a little to do with a kidnapping. (not blaming store owners, the blame is 100% on parents. but the guilt will be there since alot of these stores have no stroller policies.)

    #990546
    anon for this
    Participant

    I’ve never shopped on 13th Ave. with a baby so maybe this question is ignorant, but if the store has a no-stroller policy, then why don’t parents leave the empty stroller outside & bring the child in? An infant can be carried in a baby carrier such as a Snugli, while a toddler can walk (on a leash if necessary–may look silly but who cares if it keeps the child safe) or ride in a shopping cart if one is available. When I am in a store or other location where I can’t bring a stroller, I use a baby carrier or let the child walk. Yes, it’s inconvenient, but it’s the safest way. It’s true that an empty stroller could be stolen but no one’s ever lost her kids because she left an empty stroller outside a store.

    #990547

    ANON FOR THIS: u are absolutely right!

    #990548
    Bentzy18
    Participant

    Many (if not most)stores in Boro Park do not have the space to accommodate strollers. So for the most part parents are in a dilemma of what to do if they need to go shopping. However, this is not a valid excuse for leaving your child exposed to the outside (or even on the inside where he/she could fall out, be knocked over). Kids need supervision and if this is too much, then they shouldn’t be taken shopping. I understand it’s not cost effective to find a babysitter everytime some one needs to go shopping, but there are workable solutions. Either get together with a few other ladies and make a rotation watching each other children while the other mothers shop. Go with a friend and take turns watching the strollers. Or don’t be so choosey and shop only in the places where you can bring your stroller.

    Now if only we could do somththing about the way these families cross the street. (With stroller, take 2-3 steps then stop and look to see if it’s safe to cross)

    #990549

    Bentzy18- crosing street is another whole big issue. I wanted to sumbit letter to yw about it for a while, but never got around to it. Crazy situation!!!

    #990550
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    I understand the temptation to leave them while you run in for “just a minute” but its still unacceptable.

    Do people shop that often? I go grocery shopping once a week and clothing shopping 3-4X a year. For a bigger family you might need to go grocery shopping twice a week, but what else are they shopping for? Cant they arrange for the husband to watch the kids while they go out?

    #990551
    Bentzy18
    Participant

    In Boro Park many of these wives do not have a car. Either for practical purposes (can’t afford a second car or for those who live in Boro Park, it is hard to find a place to put it. Plus there are some chassidim that feel it’s not appropriate for women to drive) or ligistics. So what most women do it get the stroller and walk to the corner grocery. Most will deliver, but you still have to go down to pick out what you need. Plus if the husband is working all day, someone has to go to the post office, buy paper goods, wine for Shabbos, stockings for the girls (that wear out faster) shirts and pants for the boys and so on. Many husbands don’t get home until much later.

    I feel their frustration, but still don’t condone it.

    #990552
    anon for this
    Participant

    So are babies/ toddlers not allowed in the store, or are just strollers banned? Because if it’s the former, I still don’t understand why they don’t leave the strollers outside & bring in the child(ren).

    #990553
    Bentzy18
    Participant

    Mostly it’s just strollers. But then again most of the stores where the babies are left outside are the clothing stores (or similar) that don’t have much space to move around inside. It is just easier to leave the baby in the front (and outside) so that they have both hands free to hold clothing and items intended for purchase. I will keep repeating that it doesn’t make it right, but hopefully give a better understanding (for those who don’t live in Boro Park) why a person would do such a thing.

    #990554
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Unfortunately, it’s not just Boro Park. Last week I was shopping in Brach’s in the 5 Towns ( and which has a big parking lot ) . When I emerged with my shopping cart, I found a minivan parked in the fire lane and blocking the curb cut. Inside was a young child. Even though there were spots available, she chose to force other shoppers to walk to the other end of the store to use the curb cut and block the fire lane. We were about to call 911 when she came out of the store.

    #990555
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Don’t guard them like diamonds. They are more important and require more oxygen.

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