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I am wondering what a Torahdig approach is to celebrating one’s parents 50th anniversary. B’H our family (children and grandchildren only) is quite large and the idea of a “Surprise party” either in the form of a Shabbos away, or a catered affair, as exciting as it sounds, is very complicated to arrange + it can be quite costly…. On one hand we want to go all out…on the other hand the thought of spending so much $$ seems a bit frivolous…..
Does anyone know how the Gedolim of yesteryear marked this milestone? What is the Torah hashkafa on this?
P.S To complicate matters, my Mother loves to have fun parties, and my father is very practical and views these types of parties as being a waste ….
HELP??
Real name witheld – Don’t want to ruin the surprise!
“Does anyone know how the Gedolim of yesteryear marked this milestone?”
By remaining as engrossed in Torah study as they were the week before the “anniversary”, and the week after. No more, no less.
Sounds like your father has a good grasp and understanding of these matters!
I say that anyone who makes it to 50 years nowadays DESERVES to have the occasion marked at least by being taken out to dinner with all the immediate family members. If you want to make it a Torah-dig occasion, maybe the sons and grandsons if any can make a siyum, and then it is a seudas mitzvah, also.
It is not so difficult to make this special occasion into a truly exceptional one, within Torah parameters. Each family member and friend who is invited should write down a special memory to be collated and bound into a “memory book” for them. If anyone is handy with a video, they can make a video presentation of family members being interviewed about their feeligns for the couple. Go for it.
We made a beautiful slide production for my parents with loads of photos and videos from all kids and einiklach.
Gorgeous, professional production and gives my parents great joy B”H!
Is there room in anyone’s house? Do a potluck – everyone brings a dish and no one has to do all the work.
A relative of mine did this for her family: Every person got a page in a photobook – she did one at kodak.com. It was a beautiful album of all their loved ones, and they each wrote a statement on their page (printed on) on what they watned to say to their parents/grandparents.
After your question is answered, I would like someone to answer what is the Torahdig way to brush your teeth?
Using a toothbrush – while having in mind to use your mouth for Torahdik purposes.
squeak: Starting from the right side, of course.
🙂
There is a Torah way to do everything, even wolfs famous tuna sandwich. You can eat it to enjoy all its properties (taste smell texture color etc)while appreciating it and thanking Hashem for bringing t to you, and thinking of all the wonders with which Hashem made it, and how it gives you strength, and protein to replace worn out parts and all the other marvels contained within the sandwich, thereby coming closer to Hashem and strengthening your Emunah. And have in mind how you will use this strength and renewal to serve Hashem, and improve yourself.
Or, you can eat it the same way a beheimah does, to satisfy your cravings, and nothing else.
Is there anything else, squeak, you would like to learn the proper way to perform? Talking to someone, driving a car, tying your shoes?
tying your shoes is an exception! That goes left to right. (Due to Teffilin)
I think we already covered talking to someone. Tying shoes is in Gemarah and paskened l’halacha in SA, so I know that. But driving a car sounds good.
even wolfs famous tuna sandwich
My “famous” tuna sandwich was not about whether one should appreciate the wonderousness of tuna fish which HKBH has given us (which, obviously, we should) or *how* we should eat our tuna fish sandwiches, but rather about whether one has a moral consequence (i.e. give a Din V’cheshbon) for choosing a tuna fish sandwich over an egg salad sandwich.
The Wolf
Do you know that when you go to sleep at night, if you do it with the intention that you sleep well specifically in order that you may wake up refreshed and able to do mitzvos all day, that you get a mitzvah for sleeping? “I didn’t oversleep, Ma. I’m doing a MITZVAH!”
youre right wolf, i forgot.
okay, driving
think of the real sakana you are in and how so many things can go wrong, and are not in your control. speak to Hashem and ask him to get you to your destination in safety.
use the opportunities as other drivers irritate you to control your responses and your anger. think that everything that happens to you is min ha shamayam and under the control of Hashem.
realize that however aggressively you feel like driving you will get there when Hashem wants and not a hairsbreath sooner.
think of the marvels of engineering of the car, even that some dead oil is giving your car the energy it needs al pi Hashem. arouse your gratitude to Hashem for giving you the car.
use the opportunities of shmiras ha ayin. turn stones into diamonds.
i could go on
Or drive mindlessly and think only of your next meal. As beheimohs would, if they could drive
wolf however even re your sandwich choice, although i dont know about a din v chesbon, i am fairly sure that a Godol faced with such a choice would calculate the decision with a cheshbon (i cant imagine what it would be, possibly health considerations or some Inyon in the Gemorrah about fish or eggs)and not merely based on a war of taivahs.
the Halachah of tying shoes is a good start, but you can add to it.
simple. dont just take your laces for granted. imagine all the frusration you would have all day long if you didnt have laces. remember the last time your laces broke? take a second, just a second while you are tying your laces. thank Hashem for them. every morning. you will be doing yourself a favor and strengthening your Emunah. Hashem will be happy with you. Your Olam Ha Boh will increase. What an opportunity!
or think of the Halacha that a Jew is mchuyiv to give his life rather than change his Jewish laces for goyish ones, under conditions of a shmad.
Good points, Mod, but you’re getting carried away from the point. We are looking for the “Torahdig approach” to celebrating anniversaries, brushing teeth, tying laces, driving cars, breathing, eating sandwiches, and going to sleep (fall asleep on your left side, and wake on your right side). Not how to find what to appreciate in everything around you.
Gavra – IIRC, the halacha of tying shoes is as a result of a machlokes amorayyim over whether right or left comes first. One says right shoe first and the other says left. As a compromise, we pasken that one should put on the right shoe first, but tie the left shoe first.
wolf however even re your sandwich choice, although i dont know about a din v chesbon, i am fairly sure that a Godol faced with such a choice would calculate the decision with a cheshbon (i cant imagine what it would be, possibly health considerations or some Inyon in the Gemorrah about fish or eggs)and not merely based on a war of taivahs.
I don’t understand. Are you saying the fact that I have a personal preference for one over the other should NOT be a factor in determining which one to eat (all other things being equal, of course)?
The Wolf
wolf
im saying that IDEALLY, on a madreiga that we all should strive for, a madreiga few ever reach, a madreiga described in the Chovos ha Levovos and many other places, yes your personal preference (translated: a stronger taivah) should NOT be a factor in the choice unless you choose the sandwich associated with the stronger pleasure because you wish to increase your pleasure for the sake of being more grateful to Hashem.
If theoretically all other things are equal (which they never are if you think deeply enough into your choices) then perhaps you are right.
Or perhaps one should choose against the sandwich which his taivohs dictate, in order to strngthen himself spiritually via the wonderful Midah of Preishus. This madreiga can be achieved by many, even us little people
I’m just saying wolf we here in the modern world live our lives in darkness and laziness and have forgotten how to devote ourselves to Hashem. We just dont think about it.
We just dont see it.
It just doesnt exist for us
except for a glimmer here and there.
squeak
The Torahdik approach is far more inclusive than even the greatness of Halachah.
There is nothing more Torahdik than appreciating everything around you.
It is the point
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