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    I have a pretty healthy self esteem but the past couple of days (for a few reasons) I’ve been feeling like a complete failure (like the “your unique- just like everybody else”). Even though I know its not true, I feel like Hashem must hate me, and whats worse is that I wouldn’t blame Him. 🙁

    Thanks for listening.



    Being a parent I know that while Hashem might be upset sometimes about the way we act, he will NEVER hate us.

    yossi z.

    If I may be so bold as to suggest that you find an activity, someone’s company, etc that calms you down, and then try and analyze for what could be the source of these feelings. It is very difficult to do amidst the turmoil but that is usually the best time to grab a chance at working out the issue.

    Then again it may just be time to take a breather, relax, recharge, and then come back to whatever it is at hand.

    Hope I helped



    I don’t believe for one second that Hashem hates you , we all get down on ourselves once in a while and just as often these periods pass, yours is a unique voice here i always enjoy your posts keep your head up this too shall pass hashem loves you.


    Hi everyone I’m a new poster but i’ve been following for a while. we say by maariv Vihussair sattan me’achareinu. I think i heard in the name of the Chafetz Chaim that it means to not get worried about past failings, look ahead, and think positive. tomorrow will be a better day


    i heard in the name of the Chafetz Chaim that it means to not get worried about past failings

    Best advice I ever got about that is: You need to take your past and put it in your behind.

    -adapted from the Lion King

    ☕️coffee addict


    I’ve had that feeling before

    but just realize how much Hashem gives you and it shows he doesn’t hate you

    also the only people Hashem HATES are reshaim and he still wants them to be close to HIM


    pba- i should rephrase. Not to get down is what i meant. if a real wrongdoing was done then it requires teshuva- but not atzvus


    I know the source of the feelings. Its a combination of my personality and “type”, and feeling like I haven’t accomplished too much. And just feeling in general like a bit of an idiot who wants and tries but does nothing and just makes things more complicated…

    I have also seen very clear Hashgacha in certain things so I know Hashem doesn’t hate me (if He did why would He bother?) but maybe hates me for what I’m doing. Its not one specific thing but like I said being a certain “type” and doing certain things and not doing others as a result.

    Thanks to everyone who responded. You were a bigger help than you could know. Like I said earlier I rarely get like this but a few things happened all together and…

    Toi, welcome to the CR.


    YW Moderator-42

    Coffee Rooom addiction can do that to you. Do you perhaps feel that you are not being productive during the day because you are constantly in the Coffee Room?


    Coffee Rooom addiction can do that to you. Do you perhaps feel that you are not being productive during the day because you are constantly in the Coffee Room?

    As far as the day to day productive, I’m okay. Its the bigger stuff…



    I believe that an MD would say “take two tylenol and call me in the morning” because things always seem better after a good night’s sleep. Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe you are expecting too much of yourself and therefore not accomplishing as much as you expect to. Try setting some short term measurable and attainable goals. Feel good about those accomplishments then keep moving forward. Don’t compare yourself to others, just do what is right for you and go at your own pace. After all Hashem created each of us differently so don’t be running a race with others and comparing yourselves with others who have other variables than you do.


    just stopped by to give you a friendly smile 🙂

    Rav Wolbe says that there are ??? ???? and ??? ????. some days, everything just goes smoothly and we feel great, and some days – we just feel horrible and like nothing is going well. this is normal, part of the nature that Hashem implanted in this world. trick is to do a litte less on the ??? ???? – be extra nice to yourself; you should still have a minimum of what you do, like daven, etc. – but be a little more gentle with yourself on those days and don’t strive for the maximum. the days when we have super energy and are feeling great, are the days that we should really work on ourselves and expand.

    here’s another smile for you. ? and some music ? (some nice person taught me how to make these notes.)



    Yes. ME!

    You have a pretty healthy self esteem. Lucky for you. That’s a present of LOVE directly from HaSHem. I know people who don’t have that. Take ME, FOR INSTANCE. If I had, I wouldn’t be wasting my time in the CR. So, you’re one step ahead of me. Someone (I think Mommy) one told me that no one is a complete failure, at least he could be used for a bad example. That validates my existence. About your last statement HaShem loves you if you’re Jewish, a Torah true Jew. The infinite love of an ADORABLE innocent child to it’s parents are only ‘meshalim’ parables, to the infinite love of HaShem towards us.???? ???? ??????, an ENDLESS love. Think about it. I did. It filled me with a … ZeesKite!!!


    aries2756: *like*


    Coffee Rooom addiction can do that to you. Do you perhaps feel that you are not being productive during the day because you are constantly in the Coffee Room?

    That would be me.


    Perhaps you are thinking about yourself too much. Some Seforim say that depression (obviously not when it’s involuntary) stems from arrogance.


    Have you done something to give you parents or grandparents nachas?

    Have you been kind to your siblings / spouse / niece / nephew?

    Did you offer your seat to someone during your commute?

    Give tzedaka?

    Daven for someone else?

    Offer praise and/or give encouragement to someone?

    Etc, etc.

    We all have our ups and downs (yes, of course including yours truly).

    Sometimes a kind word can lift a bad mood.

    Sometimes it just takes a little time until it passes.

    But, it passes.


    As a nation that is driven to achieve and strive for goals that exceed our past milestones, its hard to keep hitting the highmark.


    Thank you everyone.

    It wasn’t a “hard day” kind of thing, more like not feeling like I’ve done anything so good and I should have done/be doing more and can’t or don’t.

    Thanks again.

    ICOT, amen


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