baby sitting

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    Hello?! if im babysitting by your house please call me before your about to come home! i was one time babysitting and i was reading comfortably on the couch my shoes in the middle of the room and the ppl i was babysitting for just walked in on me!!!!!! i was all disoriented!!!!!!! you only lose out bec if i have a bad experience at your house dont count on me coming back!-you lose!

    also make sure you have drinks and food in your house especially if you babysitter is going to be in your house for more than 2 hours.


    If you are babysitting, and they say to take drinks, does that include the whiskey?


    popa, you’re getting predictable.

    Rezdy, I beat you. I fell asleep a couple of times. (I think it was during test season.)


    i am here

    verrrrrry funny ,When you babysit then you you can ask them that just to make sure. well at that point they might just tell you to go home.

    valid point of making sure to have food and drinks ppl. who r babysitting needs food and stuff to nosh on. and alo open the closed packages b-4 you leeve. bec. they feel to shy to open something new.

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    If you are babysitting, and they say to take drinks, does that include the whiskey?

    Remind me not to let my daughter babysit in your house.


    first of all dont leave your shoes in the middle of the room that just isnt smart. second if they give you a round about time then you should be prepared.

    i had people where i would fall asleep on their couch or with the kids when i was putting them to sleep and the parents would come hom and he would say “you just woke up didnt you” and then hed say “yeah we fall asleep all the time putting them to bed.” one time i woke up just as i heard the door open.luckily im very close with these people!

    another couple i babysat for they called me to tell me they would be home at eleven. they showed up an hour later(it was only like 930) and he told me he does that so he can have more time should he need it.(that was weird)




    Why should they have to call before they walk in the door? Cause you took your shoes off? What else did you take off that you don’t want anyone surprising you?


    i remember i babysat for someone once who was doing construction on their house. i was so thirsty but i couldnt find anything, i couldnt even find the fridge.


    Rezdy- I pay you to babysit, not to eat.

    (I always prepare something, but if a babysitter would order her food/drinks like that, I wouldn’t take her in again.)

    Anyway, you should start polishing your grammar/english skills while you babysit.


    lets see

    a whole entire list

    ~ if your kid is sick TELL ME

    ~ pick up the phone if your child is sick and i’m babysistting

    ~ if you say you won’t be back later then a time— don’t waltz in a hour and 15 minutes later without calling or anything

    ~ if i tell you that i don’t want you to pay me — don’t make me feel guilty for not taking your money ( i have a clear reason)

    ~ try to pay me on time, if not that day – the next?

    {editing cause i thought of more}

    ~ have your wife tell me that i can fall asleep, not you the rabbi, and when i say no, please don’t make it more awkward for me and tell me to sleep in your kids bed 🙂

    ~ i know it may be difficult- but can the wife please drive me home?

    ~ call me a lil ahead of time? i don’t like saying no but when you call me the night before a wedding you have ~ most times i will say no.

    ~ if your canceling? call me, even if you just asked me outside of shul, i have no way of knowing if you meant it or not (always good to clarify those outside of shul things)

    i’ll have more soon 🙂

    any others?


    what should i do if im babysitting and the kids are just running around the house?

    doodle jump

    Rezdy: Are you joking? When I hire a babysitter, I don’t expect her to stand up the whole time I am away. You find a seat and make yourself comfortable for the time that you are babysitting. You are welcome to go through my fridge and cabinets for nosh, but you wont starve if you babysit past two hours.


    please don’t call us the night before or the day of- we have a life too and feel guilty saying no- please be responsible and if you know of an event you will be having please ask us before- i had someone they knew they had a wedding 2 months before and that night an hour before they needed me they called- i had to say no because it was not enough time warning and i didn’t have a chance to ask permission from my parents- also if u got my number from someone please tell me who you got it from because i don’t like babysitting for complete strangers- and a lot of the times i say no its not because of you- it could be my parents don’t let that night etc. i ‘m just sometimes embarrassed to say “my mother says i cant…” i mean i am 17 and i don’t want to appear like a baby to you so i say- I’m not available- or oh that night??? I’m so busy I’m sorry- don’t think its just a polite way to snob you out- i had someone who i said that to and then when i was online the night that they asked me my gmail chat status was like- i am so bored- i have no life- and they were all insulted i told them i was busy they thought i said no because i didn’t like them! also when it comes to the food- please tell us if we can take because if we aren’t given explicit permission and even though you really do let if we take- halachiclly its gezel- so please TELL us and don’t assume we know we can- also please specify if u want us to pick up your phone if it rings- i had 1 person who didn’t want me too and didn’t tell me so i picked up- and the same thing happened the other way around- please leave emergency info and tell us where to find it!!!!!! i also agree with everything said above by whatelseisleft but they dont need to call u! its their house!!!! and if we do fall asleep please dont make a big deal out of it- we are embarressed even if you r joking!- thank you


    nooo. bygirl93

    you misunderstood me

    like if your running late- not if your running early.

    like if you say oh we won’t be later then 10PM and you come home 1115 PM that bothers me. its one thing to say oh 10, 1030 ish, but saying explicitly that we WON’T be later then ___ and then coming an hour and 15 later, that’s frustrating. { so call in that sense}

    but in terms of shabbos– try to stick to the times you say, 15 mins isnt a big deal but hour + , that is.

    but you made very good points.

    also awkward is in between me getting there and you leaving, sometimes even 20 mins , soo much pressure : )


    Oy…this is why I literally never go out in the evenings.I’d rather stay home with my kids,than pay $10 PER HOUR for a sitter who may have 100 taynes on me by the time she leaves,while I will have no idea I did anything (never mind EVERYthing) wrong!


    oysh! these reasons are why i only babysit for my siblings… because i basically live in their houses anyways so i do whatever i would do at home.

    but i do agree with not asking me the day of…. i have a life too and i feel so bad to say no but i am not gonna change my plans!


    I bet the OP was babysiting and decided to let everyone know how it’s going. If you want to be babysit only on your terms, let the people who hired you know. I doubt anyone here is going to follow what you have to say. If someone doesn’t give you enough time to let you know beforehand -just say No! There is nothing to feel guilty about. If the parents actually can’t find babysitters at the last minute, guess what they will do next time? And btw, do you really think the husband wants to drive you home? Just maybe the wife can’t always do it.


    i’m really sorry, i thought i wrote “if the wife can do it” im not talking about the times when they can’t but many times it has been oh let me drive you home, actually my husband is closer to the car……..

    just in case any of these made you think im bitter or nasty, im not.

    i love these kids!, im not complaining about stupid things, im saying its uncomfortable/ awkward in many of these circumstances, and i just can’t do my very best dealing with your kids if you make it extremely uncomfortable for me


    kay to all you folks out there who hocked back answers to me you all completely missed the boat!!! if you cant handle babysitters then dont have them! remember were doing YOU the favor!! and if you do have them then just treat them with respect and youll both be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    which employer provides food? be polite and appreciate what you get. For those who need a babysitters in Brooklyn without a long list of requests, I can match you with some very good people. Day time for sure.


    Rezdy- why are you doing me a favor? I hired you and we’re even. I’m paying you and if you don’t want to take the job, I’ll hire someone else without a problem.

    World Saver

    Redzy – Why are you doing us the favor? That is not always true. Usually the babysitter gets paid.


    Redzy – Your doing them the favor? Your not doing it for the $$, Your doing itt totaly lishem shomayim? I think its =


    Rezdy–a favor?

    You babysit for free?


    Even if they pay you, its a favor. It’s not always easy to find a babysitter. And besides, is it really worth it to babysit for the amount you’re getting paid?? Usually not!


    boredstiff- Actually it does NOT fit into the definition of Chesed. But yes, even so you have to have Hakoras Hatov to babysitters. (Like any employee.) This doesn’t mean people OWE babysitters anything.

    It sounds like some of the posters here are from the “ME” generation.

    BTW, it’s because of the “ME” generation, that there is even a problem finding babysitters, eg. -“Oh, I don’t feel like it”, “I want to hang with my friends”, etc.

    Usually babysitting is one of the person’s first jobs. If you take the job responsibly, this will help you later on in life when you need to be responsible.

    BTW, in the Greater NY area, I’ve found only girls/women babysit.

    Where I come from originally, boys also babysit!


    This is getting more ridiculous by the minute. It is not a favor to get paid. I am not doing my employer a favor by showing up to work. If you don’t take payment and it is a favor, then it should be done as such and not begrudgingly. If I ask you last minute probably it is because what childcare I had arranged fell through. I don’t expect it will be easy to find a sitter last minute but I am not going to not try just because my original plans didn’t work out.

    However I do agree with the food/ drink part and always try to mention a few specific things I have they can take along with “feel free to take anything you want.” I say this even to my niece who knows where everything is just so she knows if she gets hungry she can feel free to find sonmething. I also try to leave money if it’s during dinner time that they can order pizza to be delivered.

    But if I don’t offer food or do call last minute, that doesn’t mean I “can’t handle” a babysitter. As pointed out, if you don’t want to take the job, say no.


    WOA!!!! Let’s get something straight here, there needs to be a sense of RESPECT here for ALL, even a teenage babysitter and if you don’t have it then just stay home or wait till your parents or siblings are available! Seriously!

    These girls have serious points and many of you are not taking them seriously.

    !. Having the wife drive them home. We are hocking all over these threads the issues of tznius and right here on this thread a young woman is pointing out how “NOT TZNIUS” it is when a MAN drives home a young woman late at night and many of you have a problem with that????? KUDOS to you whatelseisleft, for making that point as well as other points which the woman of the home should handle.

    2. They are making a point that it is “gezeila” if they take food and/or drinks if they are not specifically offered. Appreciate that they know this and understand this and take it seriously. Please be sure to “tell” them to help themselves to drinks and snacks and show them where to find it so they don’t feel like they are snooping in your cabinets and fridge.

    3. There needs to be an EMERGENCY List of contact numbers and “What to do ifs” left by a phone. Have it typed and ready and show her where it is. Make sure it has clear instructions.

    4. Respect the fact that babysitters have other things going on in their lives and need enough notice, so don’t call at the last minute and make them feel guilty if you are disappointed and do cancel early so they have an opportunity to make other plans or take another job.

    5. Don’t think that just because you pay someone they should appreciate YOU. They don’t HAVE to work for you, so you had better appreciate THEM. If you don’t like what they do, don’t hire them. Just know it is not easy to find people YOU can trust with YOUR children.

    As far as babysitters are concerned:

    1. Do not expect to get a warning phone call that the parents are on their way. Because many times sitters have friends over or are doing things they shouldn’t and if necessary are caught.

    2. Respect the home whether you expect the parents to come home at any minute or not. Be prepared that the child might wake up and notice what you are doing as well. If you want to be trusted be trustworthy.

    3. If you don’t want to take a last minute job, don’t feel pressured to do so, no matter what they say on the other end. If you say you are busy they can’t argue with you. If you waver and say you really don’t want to they will keep the pressure on until you give in. If you have to study for a test and will only babysit if the kids are asleep make sure you tell them YOU can’t put the kids to sleep this time, it is up to them because if you get a bad mark on the test you won’t be babysitting any more. And only do it for someone you know and trust that they will work with you and put the kids to sleep.

    4. If you prefer being driven home by the wife you must make those arrangements beforehand and not ask when they come home because usually women do not want to go out again. So don’t make that a surprise.



    YES! it is a favor for me to babysit for you! i dont especially like to babysit!

    would YOU like to sit in a strangers house for 2-5 hours not gauranteed that theyll pay you decently

    that you will be comfortable

    that youll be able to do your homework

    that the kids will behave……………

    i dont know where you all live but here in lakewood nj where i live i get BEGGED to come and babysit for them BEGGED!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    i come home from school tired with work to do and then you ask me to sit in your house for how ever long you and your husband need to go out and im not doing you a favor!?!!?!?! duh!- im going to take money thats the only reoson why im coming (yes believe it or not i have a life and i dont love just sitting in other ppls houses for chessed)

    dont get me wrong chessed is amazing and definitly should be done (if possible) but when im babysitting for you its not necessaserily chessed!!!!!!! ill do it with a smile but make sure you treat me well cuz the next time you call me up begging for a babysitter I MIGHT JUST NOT COME!!!!!!!!!!!!

    if your one of those ppl ho are NOT desperate and DO have neigbors/neices ect. then kol hakavod be picky with who youll call and dont treat them well bec you can alwase get someone next time!

    but if thats not the case then just act smart


    always here

    whoaaaa! & here I thought (expected) Rezdy to compliment aries on her reasonable, sensible words!! :-O


    Rezdy- you’re just an employee who hates her job 🙂

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Folks, she’s right, there are not enough babysitters around, especially in Lakewood, and most girls who do it are for the most part doing it as a chessed, although they would not do it for free.

    That having been said, I think Aries makes great points on both sides of the equation.


    gosh,health is right about the ME generation. what’s with, rezdy (and others who feel the same)? if you don’t wanna babysit, no one is forcing you. i don’t mean to sound rude, but sounds like you have the wrong attitude. if you are going “just for the money” then DON’T GO! (i’m sure)ppl don’t appreciate babysitters who come just for the money, they would rather give the money to someone who is willing (happily)to babysit, and will enjoy their home. i happen to love babysitting, and in the summers i’ve babysat for hours (the most being thirteen hours straight at one family!), but they keep taking me back because they know that i love the kids, i’m patient…(that was not said to sound boastful, btw)the kids love me…. and that i like to be at their house. i doubt they would pay someone who had such complaints as you (because more often than not, i think even if the babysitter is trying to look nice and happy…, you could tell what’s going on inside)

    and second, i agree with everyone, that you are not doing them a favor (especially with the attitude). they are paying you. if anything, its equal.

    and, why would you do something that you would not want someone to see anyway? when i babysit, i keep in mind, it’s their home, they can come in and out as they want. how do you know if someone didn’t forget something at home, or they need something they didn’t realize they would, or something came up suddenly… you don’t know what’s going on in their lives, and they have no achrayus to call you when they walk into THEIR OWN HOUSE!

    how will you feel when you IY”H have kids, and when they are at home with a babysitter, you have to call every time you are gonna walk in the door. ur asking permission, in essence, to come into ur own home. at least, that’s the way i see it.

    it’s all about attitude. the attitude that it’s not all about you.



    If you feel like you are getting taken advantage of, and you are not interested in the job then don’t accept it. You have the full right to decline a babysitting offer.


    you said it brisker!



    it happens to be that im loved as a babysitter! some nights ill even get 5 calls to babysit! ppl call me weeks in advance to reserve me! so whoever thinks im all furious about babysitting and i do it with a sour face its not true but what is true is that i pick which jobs i want to go to and if i had a bad experience at a house then i just dont go back!

    no im not an employee who hates their job cuz otherwise i wouldnt do it!

    and also what someone else mentioned that im not forced to take any job- your right im not forced but sometimes ppl make you feel so stupid if you cant do the job the tell you i was relying on you….

    so if you ever need A babysitter please dont make her feel stupid if she tells you she cant do it!

    and for everybody who said no problem i don t need you to babysit for me if you have so many requests and attitudes- then dont complain if&when i tell you no and then you cant find anyone else and cant attend the wedding/bar mitzva or any other placethat you wanted to go!

    doodle jump

    Redzy: Where to begin? A girl usually babysits to earn money, not because she loves spending her evenings at strangers’ homes. If you don’t enjoy babysitting, then don’t. I don’t see the problem.

    Now, let’s say you decide to babysit.You have every right to let the people know how much you charge an hour. If they can’t afford you, I understand. If you want to do chessed and inform them that whatever they pay is fine with you, wonderful.

    Be upfront with people but speak respectfully. You can tell them that you would love to babysit, but you have a test, paper, homework, due and the kids must be in bed when you arrive or be in bed at a certain time. Nothing wrong with that. It shows that you are taking your duties seriously.

    Of course if the kids are wild and not cooperating, you don’t have to return. If you see that the parents are really trying to respect your wishes, work with them. If they kid woke up, maybe he was not feeling well. You have to take each situation as it comes.

    Now, as far as being comfortable, what does that mean? To me it means that the babysitter has a couch to sit on, a table she can sit at and do homework. What else would a babysitter need? I am not being sarcastic. I just really want to know.

    When my kids were younger, I only left them with babysitters that I trusted and they in turn wanted to babysit. Why would I or anyone in his or her right mind hire a babysitter that does not want to babysit? My kids are most precious to me and I would rather not attend the simcha/meeting/whatever, than leave my kids with someone who REALLY does not want to be in my house.

    If you really hate babysitting, then don’t. I am sure there are other things for you to do to earn money. If you are O.K. with babysitting, great. Put a smile on your face and show them what you are made off. It is a good way to learn how to present yourself and your work ethics for the future, where you will have to hold down a job.

    Very few people in this world are born with a silver spoon in their mouths. The majority of people have to work for a living. Trust me, there are some days that I don’t feel like going to work, it’s only normal. But when I am at work I have the achrayus for the job that I was hired for. And if I am already at work, I might as well do it with a smile. It’s the same price:)

    I am being very honest when I tell you that all these words were written in the nicest possible way. Never to criticize. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings, chas v’shalom. I just wanted to inform you.

    By the way, my kids are older now and they fondly remember one of their babysitters. She used to come prepared with booklets of coloring books and stickers. stories galore. I knew my kids were going to be O.K. with her. No price can match the fondest of memories. Whatever you decide to do: Hatzlacha:)



    i didn’t say ur furious, just have the wrong attitude. ur right that no one has the right to make u feel guilty about not babysitting. of course- ppl shouldn’t “rely” on you, to the point where if you can’t come (which not all of the time will you be able to) they should make you feel the way you do.

    one thing i do agree with is that if someone is looking for a babysitter for an event that they know is coming up, book in advance, ppl don’t like to be called last minute. that i’ll give you.

    it was more the “not coming into the house unexpected” that struck me as too much.



    I agree with Redzy except for the coming in to the house unannounced.

    I don’t know why anyone is criticizing her.

    Of course she is entitled to say no. But people do pressure her, and they should appreciate her.

    Besides, shouldn’t every employer appreciate her employees? And treat them nicely?



    i agree with doodle jump she took the time to listen and actually hear what i have to say and gave in SMART input!

    and popa_bar_abba thankz!

    yummy cake-i think it was just a misunderstanding!

    too everyone else do whatever has worked for you in the past and good luck!!!!!!!

    always here

    parents: plez do not leave ‘Red Bull’ in the ‘fridge for sitters! 😉


    maybe, or a difference in personality and comfort level. to each his own, different strokes, for different folks, that’s what makes us unique!



    I think some parents purposely walk in on the babysitter to surprise her, just in case the babysitter might be doing something she shouldnt, and a call is just a warning to stop so she doesn’t get caught. But if the parent trusts the babysitter it would be right to give a call before they come, but its not the end of the world either way, belive it or not…most parents don’t see the situation from a babysitter’s perspective. I’d also like to congradulate everyone on the wonderful megillahs written on this thread.


    Ok Rezdy: I happen to know someone who DAVKA walks in unexpectedly when someone is babysitting. She wants to make sure the babysitter is taking care of her child/ren properly and behaving as a bas yisroel should!!! SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO DO SO!!! If it bothers you when they walk in early, does this mean you have something to hide? I hope not.

    As far as calling if they’re going to be late, that I agree. They should also leave a number where you can reach them if necessary. I also agree that there should be some snack and drink available.

    There has to be mutual respect and admiration. There are rules for both sides.

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    There’s one more complaint against those who employ babysitters that I haven’t seen addressed here. Not only should the parents call if they’ll be late, they should not come back late! If a babysitter took a job with the understanding that she’d be home at 10:30, it’s not fair to first arrive at 11:30! The parents should ask in advance how late she can stay if things don’t go as scheduled, but otherwise, she may need to get to sleep at a certain hour (or have other things to do at home) and she’s stuck. Of course, unavoidable events can occur, such as traffic, but some people make a habit out of it.


    After reading almost all teh posts here, i am laughing so hard…Here in flatbush, there are many babysitters (at least when i was in high school…) I didnt particularly love babysitting, but i didnt mind it.

    I knew that i was going there to do a job and i was getting paid. For what? For watching their kids, and taking care of them. Nothing more. Not for pizza to be delivered for me, not for them to buy special food or nosh for me, not to call long distance or any call for that matter, but solely to watch the kids. AND THAT IS WHAT I DID! My hosts (feels weird to call them boss’) were usually very kind and specifically told me that i can help myself to nosh and food adn i can use the phone. I rarely did.

    I did lay down on teh couch when i was tired (weddings ending at 1 or 2AM, yes if i didnt mind to babysit that night, i was usually very flexible with time) I would try not to fall asleep or if i did, i slept lightly so that i woke up when they came home.

    Gosh, babysitters these days think they are VIP. Either take the job or dont! Tell them time, what kind of food you prefer or dont, tell them to call you or dont. Just see if they’ll call you the next time..And if they dont take your requests seriously, DONT GO!!


    I remember when I asked one of my daughters how on earth teens could charge $10 an hour to watch a few kids(cleaning ladies get that for working their heads off!).She said,”Ima,you know how long an HOUR is?”

    doodle jump

    Daas Yochid: Excellent point.

    eclipse: very cute.

    I am not in the “babysitting” Parsha anymore, but I remember having a hard time getting a babysitter during mid-terms,finals and concert time. Other than that, we had our regular babysitters ( 2 or 3 girls throughout the years)


    eclipse- are we like your cleaning lady?!?!?!?! were are frum jews who are watching your kids for you- you should feel honored to have us! if 10$ is too much for you you should ask the babysitter before how much she charges and maybe ask for a cheaper price

    good luck!

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