Bein Adam Lachaveiro in the coffee room

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    Which Halachos of Bein Adam Lachaveiro apply in the coffee room?

    It seems that Malbin Pnei Chaveiro doesn’t apply, but Ono’as Devarim does. I’m not sure about Lashon Hora, though. Firstly, you are saying it in front of the person being spoken about. Also, you aren’t messing anyone up, they can always start a new screen name. On the other hand regarding the second point, we don’t decide Halachos based on our reasons and understanding of the Mitzvos.


    RuffRuff,are you also the BowWow poster?

    Anyway,in my humble opinion:

    All the halachos apply,just like they apply when you are speaking on the phone to someone you don’t know,or writing a letter to the editor about an author you don’t know.

    Also,a person can “turn white” with embarrassment, even if others are not present to witness it.


    How can Lashon Hora apply when posters are anonymous?


    Depends who the perp is. Left-wing posters have a different din in the CR than right-wingers.


    TMB,if you saw a thread titled:”Juicy Loshon Hora about TMB,Come One,Come All!”,you’d agree there can be Loshon Hora here.Most people would be furious,right?

    It’s not done terribly often,but it does exist in less obvious ways.

    Anything derogatory about a poster is actually Loshon Hora,because the poster feels his “virtual” personality is being demeaned.Just look at all the threads…


    It’s actually an interesting question. Like TMB said, it’s anonymous.



    You are describing Ono’as Devarim, where words can make someone upset. You can’t really shame someone in the CR. As for Lashon Hara, if you don’t know anyone in real life, what will you be able to reveal about them? If you do know them in real life then my question doesn’t apply, for someone else here might know them, too. What does still apply is creating a negative attitude about someone. The Chafetz Chaim considers that a branch of Lashon Hara.

    On the one hand, you aren’t attacking a real person, only a changeable alias. On the other hand, you are speaking bad about someone. In other words, if the problem is only the damage that it causes to someone else, it might be Muttar but if we care about what you are doing to yourself by becoming a Messaper Lashon Hara, then it is more reasonable to consider it Assur.


    Sometimes it can be a case of O”D, but as none of us really knows for 100% certainty who anyone is, for all we know, the person being insulted might secretly have elicited the mean response, to see what would happen in the CR (i.e. if he or she would be defended by others, or further castigated, etc.) I personally do NOT like the idea of deliberately causing hurt to someone’s feelings by being insulting or embarrassing him/her. Sometimes, one needs to be spoken to a little strongly, because statements were made that cannot go unchallenged.



    Are you implying that we cant call you Doggie?


    It can still be Lason Horah, saying Lashon Hora on a

    “yiddish kinnd.” Like a know a guy that does so & so.


    The only issur of being involved in the CR is Bitul Torah. If your excuse is that you need to chill out, then you are only stupidly fooling yourself, another issur.


    The thread about that People’s court case,comments on “Best Singers” (about why someone is not good.etc)…..are L.H.


    That’s true. Being an anonymous speaker doesn’t change anything.


    Just because people have an alias here, we still know they are real people and Jewish people with real souls who hurt if we insult them. So when we speak L”H about someone here on the CR it really is L”H and when we are rude to someone here it is absolutely wrong. We don’t know the person’s real name and we might not know what they look like or who they really are but we certainly do know them, we chat with them on a daily basis. So yes I believe it is L”H and we do have to be accountable for it.


    So much so,that if we all went anonymous for a day,I think I would recognize 3 or 4 posters by their individual styles!


    you dont have to agree with everyones post but you should respect their opinions .

    agree to disagree


    Everyone should be respected, even if you vehemently disagree with them. We should pose our challenges carefully. Remember

    that not everyone shares the same:

    • education as you, be it more less or different
    • modes of thinking
    • style of communication
    • sense of humor (and humor does not always come through so well in this mode of communicating)

    But we all share the same desire to be respected.


    Very well. And all that goes into the categories of Ono’as Devarim, Ve’ohavta Leraiacha, Rachmanim, Bayshanim and so on. I don’t think Malbin Panim comes in, and I’m not sure about Lashon Hara.

    It’s more than just simply being anonymous, it’s not you. We have an alias to be able to refer to the same opinion source. When someone mocks your opinions or your style, that can hurt, but you won’t be shamed, and definitely not damaged.



    Very well articulated

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