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I am a father of a great girl with sterling midos who wants to mary a full time top learning boy, am I being unreasenabnle in only looking at bochurim who went to brisk yeshiva?
It depends if the girl in question is worthy of a Brisker Talmid. Is she a bas talmid chochom? A baalas middos? A baalas chesed? All of the above?
Not at all. Brisk is one of the finest Yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael. If you think the ideals of the Yeshiva are suitable to provide you with a son in law, then by all means you have the right to solely look there for him.
yes, you are being unreasonable. There is plenty of quality bachurim who did not learn in brisk.
Why limit Hashem? Trust in HIM and let HIM decide where he learned!
As long as he was serious and dedicated, why should you care?? BTW, one of the best kept secrets for serious, devoted, well adjusted happy deep, baalei Midos Bnei Torah is Tal Torah in Brooklyn- Rav Lederman. My neighbors s-in-l is from there and it is an amazing place… drop in and see/feel for yourself! Try there for amazing well rounded Talmidei Chacamim who are real ovdei Hashem with NO GAAVA!!
without getting into lashon hara, rabbaim, i would strongly advise you against advertising specific yeshivos without knowing much about them.
OMG I’m so pissed off by your attitude of the brisk or fail and bjj or fail! There are LOADS of quality girls and boys who go to places other than those two and sorry to burst your bubble but many of the people who go to those places are lousy spouses-so there!
brisk is a great yeshiva but there are a lot of other great yeshivos too. just bc a boy doesnt go to brisk doesnt mean he isnt top stuff. and vice versa.
Brisk is the cream-of-the-crop Yeshiva.
Yes u r
Unles ur only looking for a soninlaw to show off to everyone and not looking for ur daughters interest and hashems interests. (don’t get me wrong chas veshalom u should avoid brisk but to look solely into brisk at the expense of every bochur elsewhere who has everything nessecesary to be a husband and father just not got the Kop or connections to get to brisk…)
Bocher613: I think ur nogea bdovor lol
Blabla:though I agree wholeheartedly since when did swearing sneak into the cr when I was gone mods!
Yeah, you’re actually restricting your daughter.
“am I being unreasenabnle in only looking at bochurim who went to brisk yeshiva?”
It depends; how large is your bank balance?
It seems very petty to me.
Brisk is not the only yeshiva that can produce capable, committed, top learners.
My cousin (who did not go to brisk) married the daughter of a rosh kollel. Her father did not look to brisk specifically for a son in law, but to those recommendations of boys with fine middos who were committed to learning. He understood that his daughters future and happiness was not dependent solely on the boy’s level of learning or yeshiva resume but on the person he is.
“He understood that his daughters future and happiness was not dependent solely on the boy’s level of learning or yeshiva resume but on the person he is.”
well said.
If only people enternelized that point more, we would probably see happier couples and more married singles.
the problem is that SOME people are in it for the sheim only.
The only apparent consideration is…Does he know he needs to stomp on her foot under the chupa?
Just Brisk? I would say thats retarded theres plenty of top creap of the crop bochurim from r sholom shechter, yagdil torah.
The fact is, the best boys in learning from the best yeshivos almost exclusively go there. if thats what youre looking for, you found it. to those saying hes limiting his daughter- hes not- you just percieve it that way because of your personal opinion.
if something else comes up dont ignore it, but to try and get those shidduchim seems fine to me. btw, i didnt learn there.
superlamdon –
The cause of the crisis we now face (meaning, our girls are more accomplished, and are held to higher standards than our boys are), is the reason parents like yourself, are made to seek (and pay dearly for) a Brisk boy.
Ask anyone who is in the parsha. Getting in to Brisk is as much about money and connections as it is about brainpower.
So, when you net your Brisker, are you getting a well connected / rich kid? Or are you getting a real lamdan?
And also consider this: once the “wow factor” of telling all your friends that “your SIL went to Brisk” wears off, is he the kind of person you want at your table?
Or did you just buy yourself an illusion?
Trust me; I know this game from the inside of the ring. Not everyone in Brisk is a rocket scientist; not everyone in yeshiva xyz is 2nd rate.
I like to eat brisk(et)
superlamdon-
Does anyone doubt that the percenteges of being married to the next big baal gaava are greatly increased if the boy learned in Brisk. In fact I would say that more ballei gaava are from brisk then all the other yeshivos combined.
So it Depends what your priorities are and which comes first.
“I would say that more RY are from brisk then all the other yeshivos combined.”
I would say you are 10-20 years too late. Since there are no “tests” to get in, you really don’t know what you will get down the line.
But from the way you speak / write (RY, no less), I’m willing to bet that you’re not the parent of a “great girl with sterling midos”
I think you’re a Brisk grad (or wanna be) and are testing the market conditions.
Best of luck either way.
Chacham
Joseph
superlamdon-
Does anyone doubt that the percenteges of being married to the next big baal gaava are greatly increased if the boy learned in Brisk. In fact I would say that more ballei gaava are from brisk then all the other yeshivos combined.
So it Depends what your priorities are and which comes first.
POSTED 1 HOUR AGO #
Wow Joseph wot on earth happened to u
Where’s the fun not agreeing with any normal shitta poster we all know and love
you may be unreasonable but remember its your daughter whose marrying him let her choose. hatlacha
superlamdan-Ich farshtei nisht. You are saying that you don’t know what type of guy your daughters going to marry so you want it to come from a ruba d’lisa lkaman. Because if you know who she is going to marry you would not have to rely on umdunos and rov. You can pick that same chacham (hey, that’s what you called it) from anywhere else.
And about priorities, I think we disagree.
If he went to Brisk in Washington Heights, that’d be fine, you probably wouldn’t have to shell out too much for monthly maintenance.
Brooklyn yenta- 1-I wonder if stating I don’t want to get into Lashon hara is itself a problem of Lashon hara
2- I speak form experience and close knowledge of that yeshiva. I have heard Rechilus and so far NONE of is has basis in reality! It is amazing how smart people will talk “lshaim MItzvah” and parrot the most ridiculous outlandish tings without ever checkoin them out. I checked and checked.. and I still feel it is one amazing place helping individual bachurim to achieve amazing heights in all areas of Avodas Hashem in a very normal and simcha filled environment
Again, they are in the heart of Flatbush and the doors are open all the time for anyone to enter and observe! The Rosh Yeshiva makes time for ANYONE who wants to talk. Taste before besmirching even in a hint.
“brisk bocurim vs. other yeshivos”
I don’t know about other yeshivos; but in Brisk, the bochrim prefer Lipton.
“Brisk in Washington Heights”
+100 !
REITS is not “really” a brisk, but the derech halimud is the same, since that was the derech of the last major Rosh Hayeshivah.
The “full time top learning boy” that you want for “your daughter”, can be seen in many ways. Full time learners are aplenty, and Brisk does not distinguish itself in that regard. Top learners can be seen in may ways. There is top as in closest to Hashem (what this religion is all about anyway…right?), IMHO Brisk doesn’t distinguish itself in that regard either. Brisk does have one advantage in which the average IQ (as it applies to being capable of learning) is likely higher than in other places. But there are idiots in Brisk and geniuses elsewhere. Bottom line – if you’re looking for a future RY anyway, look at Brisk, but don’t pretend it has anything to do with Judaism.
A sociable highly intelligent friend of mine sat, in BMG’s dining room, at different tables every meal . He said the ToMo table was the smartest then came Mir and afterwards Brisk.
It must be stated the above isn’t such a chidush; To-mo guys in BMG fought the flow twice. Most of them come from bakrounds less yesheevis than ToMo and most of ToMo dose’nt go to lakewood.
Similarly but to a lesser degree, bochurim from the Mir who previously came from a yeshivah without a high representation in lakewood (if not they’d usually be at their original yeshivah’s respective tables) are also more likely to have come to NMG out of their own volition than by following the flow.
more importantly, the above friend also told me there is a more acute direct relationship between the incidence of hasmadah and midos among bochurim from the Mir than the Brisk yeshivos. (He’s from the latter.)
I see a lot of jealousy against Brisk above. Although there is reason to be jealous of Brisk, jealousy (and sheker) is still forbidden.
Czar- in Brisk they don’t say conjecture.
superlamdon,
RIETS is not the “collage.” RIETS is part of YU but is independent in thought and it most certainly is a yeshivah, with a nice kollel as well.
superlamdon –
You are being stupid.
Is your daughter’s only criterion that the boy be a full time learner, or is she interested in other things too? What kind of hashkafas hachayim does she want the guy to have? What does she want in regards to chitzoniyus? You can’t just look at one thing and say, oh, Brisk is what is good for her. Maybe she needs a shtarke Mir guy. Or something else. Just don’t focus on only one thing.
RIETS has first, second, third, etc. seder.
I’m also not 100% certain that based on your posts here a Brisk bachur would even go out with you.
RIETS is Brisk like Obama is a Republican.
Chazal advise us to marry our sons to a bas talmud chochem and that excludes superlamdones because he is a total am ha’aretz and possesses a garbage mouth.
there is ‘tzvei dinim’ in brisk bochurim. those who think that smoking makes you automatically yeshivish and the worlds #1 bochur is not the person you want for your shidduch. And, there is R’ Avrohom Yehoshua and R’ Dovid – which do you mean?
Yes, you are being a little unrealistic. In not naming yeshivos, there are others that are more private, cater to each individual needs and come out with more than some popular so called name brand yeshivos. Beside the yeshiva, the home, foundation of where the bochur comes from should be of great importance too.
you cant judge a bochur based on the yeshive he cud hav been the black sheep who knows? each person is diff!
Bietzem it is shnei dinim. The gavra should be good,however for the price you pay you might want a real cheftza! Or look for a husband for your daughter,less focus on YOUR son-in-law! Maybe both will happen!Hatzlacha!
I agree wholeheartedly 100%……
Shidduchim are made in heaven so u can look where you want but the end result wont change
Anyway mods will you please remove the atrocious language above….
Yekke2 – Someone I know once asked a Brisker in Yerushalayim for directions to R’ Dovid’s Brisk. The response – “ir vilt reb dovid uder ir vilt brisk”?
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