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Hi,
I’m 27 years old, just got engaged, and I’m looking for a BT community in NYC. My kala and I are more on the modern end of the spectrum. We’re shomer shabbos and kosher in the home (kosher style out of the home); we learn every week and look forward to a lifetime of growth in yidishkeit, we just need time, space, and a non-judgmental community in which to take root and grow organically. For example, my kala does not intend to wear a head-covering all the time and we want to be in a community where that’s possible without being ostracized for it.
She works in downtown Brooklyn so a short commute time is important. For me, having a non-judgmental place to learn in the morning / evening that isn’t too advanced (it’ll be at least 2-3 years before I can keep up with a Daf Yomi shiur (I learned my aleph beis within the last year)).
Brooklyn is more convenient (we’re thinking the Ave J area) but we don’t know the community or any specific schulls to investigate.
Any suggestions for specific neighborhoods, schulls, or classes would be tremendously appreciated. Thank you so much.
I think you will have a hard time finding that in NY.
Some communities are more modern, and will not be judgmental of your not fully keeping halacha yet, but you will also not find the growth you are looking for in terms of that wanting to grow in keeping halacha.
Other communities will provide that growth, but with the judgment.
I’m recommending Pelham Parkway, for the win. Google for info on the shuls there, and ask for info.
Why on earth would anyone recommend the Bronx (with exception of Riverdale)is besides me. Pelham Parkway was once upon a time a fine Jewish community but has since disintegrated into almost nothing ( I know since I lived there and eventually moved out due to a lack of social). If you want to stick to NY, look at Park Slope in Brooklyn.
If you want to stick to NY, look at Park Slope in Brooklyn.
Park Slope in Brooklyn has a dying Jewish Community.
“you will also not find the growth you are looking for in terms of that wanting to grow in keeping halacha”
I completely challenge that; I know many people who have become fully observant in Modern Orthodox communities.
There is actually a shul in Brooklyn Heights, a short walk to downtown Brooklyn. It is modern orthodox with a Chabad rabbi. There is even an eruv. Check out B’nai Avraham on 117 Remsen Street — they have a web site.
I’d recommend my own community of Riverdale but the commute is very hard — I know personally because I make that very commute 2x/week. I have to give it 1 1/2 hours each way. OTOH, I do get to learn a lot of Torah on the subway!
You might want to look into Forest Hills, Queens. That may work.
I agree with notintofear. Pelham Parkway is a moribund community. You should check out kiruv organizations. You can look on kiruv.com for listings, but there’s a wide range of organizations listed, only some of which would match your needs. There are two in Kew Gardens Hills that may (or may not) work for you: Jewish Heritage Center and Hashevaynu. I’m not all that familiar with either one, so don’t take my word for it. There’s plenty of Jewish shopping in KGH. The downside of KGH is that there’s no subway stop there, but you can take a bus to the subway.
“I’m recommending Pelham Parkway, for the win. Google for info on the shuls there”
I used to live in Pelham Parkway. It is also modern Orthodox; it still has several shuls and has a housing subsidy program for people wanting to move to the community. But it is a very long commute to downtown Brooklyn on the 2 or 5 train.
“the housing program looks too good to be true! “
It is for real. Basically, the Young Israel had a huge building with a 900 seat beit knesset when they were getting sixty people in shul on a typical Shabat. Before the crash their former President managed to sell the building for a lot of money. They are now in more reasonable space and used the money to hire a rabbi and start the housing subsidy program. It is a nice friendly community and housing is MUCH less expensive than Riverdale, which itself is MUCH less expensive than Manhattan. There is an eruv that everyone accepts, and an old mikveh that I think is undergoing renovations. The Albert Einstein College of Medicine, which has a beautiful new beit knesset for the student community, is also within the eruv.
But the commute to downtown Brooklyn is a long one on the 2 or 5 train.
Good luck!
A disadvantage to Pelham Parkway is that there is no Jewish school there any more. There was one, but the community considered it to be substandard in every respect and the rabbis who ran the place weren’t interested in improving it. When it folded it left a lot of unpaid bills. 🙁 Elementary school students in Pelham Parkway commute to SAR Academy, Yeshivat Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, or Westchester Day School.
Thumbthrough, I’m not familiar with the shuls there. I know there are quite a few. There’s also a Young Israel there I think on Yellowstone Blvd. I was a bit familiar with the neighborhood at one point and from your post, it seemed like it might work for you. There’s a BT community there and the rest are really not judgemental.
But of course you’ll need to look into it and not just take my word for it.
There’s also subway stops there and it’s minutes from Brooklyn.
The Yavneh Minyan of Flatbush, which davens at the Shulamith School on E. 14th between Locust and M, has many BTs, a very non-judgmental, friendly membership and a quiet davening. More info can be found at: no links
Have you heard of or considered Marine Park in Brooklyn? The Marine Park Jewish Center, in spite of it name which some associate with reform, has a large cross section of the orthodox spectrum ranging from really modern to a few yeshivish visitors. There is a new BT couple that recently moved in and they told me that they feel very welcome in the community. The Rabbi is very involved, the shul holds by the eruv (not up for discussion right now, so lets not comment on it) and there are playgroups for children every week. There are about 120 member families, so it is not just a small group and they can arrange for you to come for a shabbos to “check out” the community.
The beauty of the location is that it has somewhat of an out-of-town feel but all of the convenience of living in Brooklyn.
Anyway, just something to consider
I completely challenge that; I know many people who have become fully observant in Modern Orthodox communities.
Of course, I hope I didn’t imply that couldn’t happen. I was merely suggesting that if they moved to a community where their current way of living is acceptable, there is a strong likelihood that they will settle into it permanently.
So that the obvious suggestion for a couple like them is the Upper West Side, where many orthodox people eat kosher style outside the house and don’t cover their hair, etc. But if they move to the UWS, they will not be in a community where people are striving to move beyond that.
That is why I suggested a community like Pelham Pkwy, which as you note, is Modern Orthodox, but has more of an out of town feel such that it is both accepting and growing.
did you create your user just to ask this question?
I don’t know the community so well, but have spent Shabbos there, and I once ate a meal at the Rav and Rebbetzin of the Young Israel of Pelham Parkway. They are incredibly warm and talented people who are truly devoted and accepting of everyone.
There met be more than one community where you can accomplish your goal, but I would put Huntington high on the list. It is all baalei teshuva ranging from conservadox to frum for 20 years. The rabbi is a huge Talmud chochom. People there are generally looking to grow. It is in western suffiolk and commutable. Popa what do you think? I think you know the rabbi and some families.
I would suggest either Forrest Hills, Queens or the upper west side in the city. Both places are pretty modern and there is opportunity to grow in yidduskeit, however you can also fall as well. We live in a modern frum neighborhood, and sort of do what we want without really caring what others think.
If Park Slope is out of their budget, for sure the Upper West Side is. I’ve heard good things about Huntington, but the commute would be over an hour and costs $325 for a monthly LIRR ticket.
I’d suggest Riverdale for an inclusive, Orthodox community where Bt’s would feel comfortable. The only MO shuls in Brooklyn are on the moribund end of things, sadly.
thumb:
You are referring to Congregation Chofetz Chaim on 69th avenue in Forest Hills? That is a shul, I am not aware they have more than the regular shul functions there.
Id recommend Queens. The Forest Hills, Kew Gardens Hills, Hillcrest and riverdale if you need a place with no car.
West Hempstead and Teaneck would also work , but you need a car
“I completely challenge that; I know many people who have become fully observant in Modern Orthodox communities.
Of course, I hope I didn’t imply that couldn’t happen. I was merely suggesting that if they moved to a community where their current way of living is acceptable, there is a strong likelihood that they will settle into it permanently.
So that the obvious suggestion for a couple like them is the Upper West Side, where many orthodox people eat kosher style outside the house and don’t cover their hair, etc. But if they move to the UWS, they will not be in a community where people are striving to move beyond that. “
You mean as opposed to a community, where you shteig to a black hat, but are free to molest children
chaya.esther, opening that rathole is not helpful to the OP. Not that he can’t defend himself, but I haven’t noticed Popa defending molesters.
No group is blame-free in that matter, as the scandal at YU demonstrates.
Another thought is the lower east side community. Very good people there and is close to downtown Brooklyn.
You mean as opposed to a community, where you shteig to a black hat, but are free to molest children
Right. But I am not a molester so I don’t usually pick where I live based on whether I will be free to molest children. I’m glad you brought that perspective to the table for us. That is a benefit of an open forum that we get perspectives from the full range of life experiences.
OP: If you think you might be a molester, you should definitely live on the UWS since there are less children there to molest.
I’ve heard great things about Marine Park and absolutely love the Lower East Side but really came here to wish a big mazal tov to OP!! He and his kallah sound like very special people and I would like to wish them a lifetime of growth, happiness and success together!!!
I see there are a lot of recommendations for Queens, so I would like to point out, that to commute from Queens to Brooklyn, is very far.
Correct me, if I’m wrong, but by subway, to get to Brooklyn, you first have to go Manhattan to downtown Manhattan (first going through midtown), and then continue to Brooklyn.
From KGH with the bus and then the subway, you can estimate an hour depending on the bus schedule and delays in trains. (This is based on my experiences more than 20 years ago.) I’m not sure how much time to add to get to downtown Brooklyn.
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