Charity — What's More Important? The Act or the Amount?

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  • #593376
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    In my opinion, online banking is one of the best things invented in the last ten years.

    In the olden days, Eeees and I would have to gather around the table once a month or so and write out a bunch of checks — one to the landlord, one to the gas company, one to each of the kids’ yeshivos, and on and on.

    Personally, it was a job that I loathed — not because I don’t like spending money, but because it was boring, repetitive and just not among my favorite things to do (yeah, I know that’s circular). Eeees wasn’t thrilled about doing it either. Sometimes, because we both lead busy lives and we didn’t really care to do it and because we were young and possibly somewhat irresponsible, the job sometimes didn’t get done in any given month. Chaos ensued.

    With online banking, however, things are great. I just have to tell my bank to pay the following people the following amounts on the following schedule and I don’t even have to think about it. All I have to do is give a quick peek at the bank’s website once a month or so to make sure they haven’t messed anything up (and the chances of that happening are fairly low anyway) and that’s that. So, we use online banking religiously, so to speak — and that brings me to my question.

    One of the items that the bank takes care of for us via online banking is the sending of a check to the tzedaka of our choice. Every month the bank dutifully mails off the check, it gets cashed and a week or so later I get a receipt from the organization. I, personally, don’t have to do anything beyond the initial setup. I don’t personally write a check each month. I don’t stick it in an envelope and mail it out. I don’t run down to the post office to put it in the mail box. And, most importantly, I don’t really give it much thought — it just happens automatically and that has led me to the following question:

    What is the purpose of giving (monetary) charity? Is it to fill a need for a person? Or is it to instill in ourselves a sense of empathy for the needs of others and to train us to act kindly? Or perhaps a combination of the two.

    This is, IMHO, fairly important because while I may still be performing the former part, the latter has become absent. I don’t know that I am becoming more empathic to the needs of others by putting the check-writing on auto-pilot. In fact, one could argue, putting the process on automatic may actually defeat the purpose (assuming the primary purpose of charity is to make us better people).

    Of course, there is another side to the dilemma — the fact that I, sadly, am somewhat lazy. As I mentioned above, I hated the task of paying the monthly bills. I was thrilled beyond belief when I discovered that online banking could take care of that for us. That being said, I’m afraid that if I don’t automate the payments, I may skip one out of sheer laziness or out of some other excuse (real or imagined) not to give that month.

    So, I’m left with a bit of a Hobson’s choice (okay… I’m exaggerating a bit): continue the worthless, meaningless act of giving automatically via automation, or actively give but risk it not happening once in a while.

    Yes, I know… ask your LOR.

    Nonetheless, I’d like your thoughts on the matter.

    The Wolf

    #715784
    arc
    Participant

    setting it up is as good as writing it.

    #715785
    eclipse
    Member

    Keep up the online charity,then add a monthly stipend to give to me personally.That should cover all worries!:)

    #715787
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    setting it up is as good as writing it.

    No offense, but did you actually read the whole post? Or was I not clear in the main point?

    The Wolf

    #715788
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Keep up the online charity,then add a monthly stipend to give to me personally.That should cover all worries!:)

    That’s nice, except that there are two problems:

    1. The budget is pretty much stretched as it is. There’s really no room to add on an extra amount per month.

    2. I still have the issue of possibly not doing it each month.

    The Wolf

    #715789
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    No offense, but did you actually read the whole post? Or was I not clear in the main point?

    My apologies, arc… I shouldn’t have been so short with you.

    Nonetheless, my main point remains… if the point of giving tzedaka is to inculcate us with a desire to help others, then simply setting it up once is NOT as good as writing the check each and every time.

    The Wolf

    #715790
    eclipse
    Member

    So take a stroll down 13th Ave,or Ave J.You will have many opportunities to give personally.It’s not how much,it’s HOW.

    I once told a panhandler I was sorry I couldn’t help him(meaning I gave zilch)and he actually said:”that smile was worth it”.Another fellow tried to get away with that,and he said”not you,her!”

    And I’m almost 100 years old,so yes,it really was THE SMILE.

    #715791
    arc
    Participant

    I did read the whole post. there were 4 more paragraphs after the point but I think to me that setting it up and writing it both instill the sense of empathy

    #715792
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Wolf,

    I certainly wouldn’t stop giving tzedaka online out of concern that it’s not helping you to develop your midda of kindness. Ultimately the point of tzedaka is the help it brings to a needy person or organization… otherwise there would be no point at all in giving, because it wouldn’t even be defined as a kind act.

    One option is to put a pushke into your home or make sure to bring a quarter or dollar to shul on weekdays, and place a coin or dollar bill into it each day. That way you can afford to continue supporting your tzedaka online in a timely and regular manner (which really helps them with their budgeting) while at the same time train your hand to be giving. At the end of the month or year, a pretty good donation will have amassed in your pushke too!

    #715793
    seeallsides
    Participant

    how about leaving the online payment and adding their name to your tefillos for parnassah.

    #715794
    bpt
    Participant

    Good question, Wolf. Here’s our take:

    I try to keep up with the 10% goal over the course of the calendar year. For example, March (right before pesach) is when I give a fair ammt, but June-Aug tend to be a little softer. But the income keeps coming, so every now and then, I’ll run a subtotal to see how much I need to give to close the gap, and then think of who / how much to give so I can catch up.

    Mrs. BP takes 10% right off her paycheck on the day she gets paid and keeps in in an envelope for the tzedoko auctions and parties she goes to over the year.

    Small ammount that are given in shul during davening are not as systematic. If I have, I give. If not, I dont.

    One thing I do try to do, is show my kids how much I’m giving and what my reasoning is so they can begin to delevope a sense of judgement of their own. I also show them that if in 2009, I gave xyz $100 and abc $50, but in 2010, abc has a much more pressing need, I’ll switch the alloaction. Its not an exact science, but at least it gets them thinking.

    #715795
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Wolf,

    I find giving away “my” money to tzedaka (especially budgeting maaser) very difficult. I always made my husband do it because I just couldn’t.

    Then our companies offered an automatic split payment. We went with it. Our tzedaka has its own account and then we pull from there.

    I think the act of designating that money to tzedaka is important. You know it won’t be there if bills are tight. Its already spent and gone. So as you budget, you are passively aware of it.

    This was kind of rambly.

    #715796

    Here are some quotes from the ??”? &???”? How to apply it to auto banking use your common sense or Rav’s judgement

    ???? ??? ??? ????? – ??? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ?????. ????? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ????? ???? ?????, ????? ???? ???? ???. ????? ?????’ ???????? ???? ? ?”’?

    “???? ??? ??? ?????” (???”?, ???? ?, ??) “???… ??????? ???? ????? ???????? ?????? ?????? ????? ????… ????? ?? ?????? ????

    ??? ?????, ??? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???, ????? ??? ?? ???? ????. ?? ???? ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? ???? ?????, ??? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????? ???? ?????. ???? ??? ??? ???? ??????? ??? ?????, ????? ?? ????? ???. ??? ??? ??? ??? ??????? ???? ???????? ?????, ????? ???. ?? ??? ??? ????? ??? ?? ??? ???? ?????”

    #715797
    kapusta
    Participant

    This is only my opinion.

    Just like a person needs to give ma’aser with his money, he needs to give with his time etc. That would mean a person should actually do a chessed by himself, not just pay someone who will do the chessed for him. Stories with gedolim lead me to believe a lot of tzedakah being given includes not only the actual money, but also the feeling a person has when giving it. Are you doing the mitzvah of giving tzedakah? Yes. But at the same time, maybe theres a way to do it a little better…?

    My suggestion would be to leave the banking system in place but maybe stop the automatic tzedakah payments. Aside from not having to do most of the payments (which automatically is a plus), you get the chance to do this mitzvah in the optimal manner. The famous story with the Vilna Gaon’s wife is coming to mind.

    Again, this is just my opinion.

    *kapusta*

    #715798
    bezalel
    Participant

    I think the act is more important than the amount but the act of setting up an autopayment is certainly better than a single instance of giving. The only instanse where I can see the autopayment as a bad thing is if you beleive that you have fulfilled your obligation to give tzedokah and no longer have any involvement at all (since you asked the question I’ll assume that is not the case).

    My suggestion is to leave the autopayment in place but to constantly look for other worthy organizations to add to your autopayment list.

    #715799
    2qwerty
    Participant

    Dont you get mail requests from different organizations? I think you should keep automatic payment for a certain amount but leave some money for other (not your typical) charities which you would pay manually.

    #715800
    ronrsr
    Member

    we try to involve the children in our tzedaka decisions. The Amish says that this sort of generosity is caught, not taught, and we are trying feverishly to get them to catch it.

    Autopayment relieves us of the need to make these decisions regularly.

    One of the many goals of our tzedeka is to pass the charitable impulse on to the next generation.

    #715801
    amichai
    Participant

    we do both. we have horaat keva which means it comes straight out of the account. and like the above said, its very important for our kids to see us give.

    #715802
    Ken Zayn
    Member

    Not as well informed as WIY:

    You are correct. Each act of tzedoko is a mitzvah, and as you brought the quote, its better to give $1 to a hundred people than $100 to one.

    This is brought in several seforim.

    So, WolfishMusings, subject closed me thinks!

    #715803
    aries2756
    Participant

    Wolf, I don’t see the problem here. As you said you get a receipt in the mail from the organizations that you give to. Why not take a few minutes of your time when those receipts come back and give some thought to those particular organizations and what they are doing and what the people they are helping and you are helping need, and why you should continue helping them. Then mark them down on your list of organizations to include in your auto-pay program.

    In that way you are involving yourself in the purpose of giving the tzedaka while doing it in the way that is most functional for you.

    #715804
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Thank you all for your responses. They are appreciated.

    Just like a person needs to give ma’aser with his money, he needs to give with his time etc.

    Well, I do do chesed with my time (although, admittedly, not 2.4 hours per day). That’s why I focused solely on the monetary aspect of chesed.

    The only instanse where I can see the autopayment as a bad thing is if you beleive that you have fulfilled your obligation to give tzedokah and no longer have any involvement at all (since you asked the question I’ll assume that is not the case).

    On the contrary — that’s EXACTLY the issue. I no longer think about the tzedaka I’m giving — it just goes. That’s why I asked what is more important — the fact that the money gets to where it needs to (which I am accomplishing) or the actual act of giving (which I am not).

    My suggestion is to leave the autopayment in place but to constantly look for other worthy organizations to add to your autopayment list.

    I’m afraid that’s not possible. We are already giving the maximum we can afford. I cannot leave this organization on auto payment AND add other organizations — and I don’t want to lessen my contributions to the organization I am giving to.

    Why not take a few minutes of your time when those receipts come back and give some thought to those particular organizations and what they are doing and what the people they are helping and you are helping need, and why you should continue helping them.

    I have no need to do that. I am 100% convinced that the organization I give to is worthy and does good within the community. I don’t need to give it any additional thought.

    The Wolf

    #715805
    aries2756
    Participant

    Wolf, my point was not to reassure yourself that the organizations are good. My point was to concentrate on the “act” of charity at that point so you cover all the bases.

    #715806
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolf, my point was not to reassure yourself that the organizations are good. My point was to concentrate on the “act” of charity at that point so you cover all the bases.

    Ah, I misunderstood. Thanks for the clarification.

    The Wolf

    #715807
    RuffRuff
    Member

    Wolf, the bulk of your Tzedaka should be by the bank, but you can leave yourself small change to hand out, this way you have both benefits.

    #715808
    MedicRN
    Member

    Even aniyim have an obligation to give tzedakah. I think that this proves the point that its not the amount, its the physical act of “giving” no?

    #715809
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I think that this proves the point that its not the amount, its the physical act of “giving” no?

    *Sigh*

    That’s what I feared.

    Another attempt at a mitzvah shot to death. 🙁

    The Wolf

    #715810
    RuffRuff
    Member

    The Rambam says that it’s better to give less butt more often than more but less often. This is just to instill the Midda of giving in yourself. The Mitzva, however, is accomplished either way.

    In fact, the Maharal argues with this Rambam and quotes a Braisa that all Tzedaka that a person gave throughout his lifetime gets added up into one large sum. So we see that this Mitzva is different than all others in that the amount matters and not the act.

    Being nice to the guy is called Gemilas Chasadim; Tzedaka is to give money. I wrote earlier to have the bulk done by the bank, to make sure it gets done right – which is most important, and to keep some small change to give out. This way you are Yotze both Shitos.

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