Choson & Kallah Walking Together Into Wedding Hall – Jewish or Gentile?
- This topic has 61 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 3 months ago by K M.
January 21, 2018 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #1454017
“According to Tales for the Soul, the issue was mixed dancing.”
If there’s no mechitza, the dancing is mixed.January 21, 2018 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #1454087GadolhadorahParticipant
If any Rav runs out of a chassanah screaming “pritzus” because the Chassan/Kalah sat next to one another in front of hundreds of guests at the chassanah, I think we all know who has a problem. (Hint: its not the chasson or the kalah or the photographer).February 21, 2018 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #1474003
At my wedding the choson was led my the two fathers and the kallah with the two mothers. The kallah did not go to the men’s side but I went and set together with my kallah on the women’s side.,February 21, 2018 10:50 pm at 10:50 pm #1474011Orthodox mrParticipant
Back in Europe the weddings took place in a house with a lchaim and then the family had Sheva brachosFebruary 21, 2018 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #1474024
Just to clarify, the choson and challah entered together into the wedding hall on the women’s side.February 22, 2018 7:53 pm at 7:53 pm #1475291benignumanParticipant
Why are you assuming the coming on to the dance floor thing is a non-Jewish custom? Have you been to non-Jewish weddings where they did this?
I assume it happens at Jewish weddings because the Chosson and Kallah separate from everyone else in the Yichud room and then come back and rejoin the wedding. But at non-Jewish weddings the bride and groom don’t leave the wedding party and then return, they are there the whole time.February 22, 2018 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #1475301
Benignuman: I was so told by several non-tribesmen (indeed all those I asked) that this is a common or standard fare at non-Jewish nupitals. I was also told by several older members of the tribe (indeed all those I asked) that in the alte heim the Choson and Kallah didn’t jointly walk into the dance floor of one of the genders, but rather each walked into the dance floor of their respective gender (without their new spouse appearing on the wrong side of the dance mechitza.)
Additionally, they didn’t have the now almost ubiquitous (in some quarters) announcement of “Welcome for the very first time, Mr. & Mrs…”, that is also (I’m told) a common theme at weddings of non-members of the tribe.February 23, 2018 9:24 am at 9:24 am #1475421
Was this Tales of the Shul, from Rabbi Emanuel Feldman from Atlanta Georgia?February 23, 2018 10:23 am at 10:23 am #1475456benignumanParticipant
I have, thankfully, never been to a non-Jewish wedding. I suspect that what they do is substantially different than what happens at frum weddings. At frum weddings, the couple comes in together usually at a door that opens to both sides of the mechitza, and then they immediately go to their respective gender’s side. I can’t imagine anything like that happening at a non-Jewish wedding. Maybe ask a non-Jew who has been to a frum wedding if this it is similar to what they do.
I am also skeptical that they do the “now for the very first time” shtick. Because for them, after the wedding ceremony they are fully married, so when they come to the dance hall it isn’t the very first time.February 23, 2018 11:01 am at 11:01 am #1475480
Benignuman: I’m not sure how many such Jewish weddings you’ve been to, but unfortunately the ones I’ve been to that do this shtick in almost all the cases the Choson and Kallah both came in to the door going into the women’s dance floor, even though there’s two doors, one leading to the men’s dance floor and the other leading to the women’s dance floor. Nevertheless they didn’t each go directly to their respective gender, initially.February 23, 2018 11:58 am at 11:58 am #1475501
When dancing there is no mixed dancing but when they have the meal, they eat together on the women’s side.February 23, 2018 11:58 am at 11:58 am #1475503
There are two tables set up for the choson. A small one on the men’s side and a large one at the women’s side.February 23, 2018 11:58 am at 11:58 am #1475507shalom1600Participant
Who are any of you to say or quote to suit yourselves what is it is not allowed . Stop being mevatel Xmas and learn Torah lishma having a go and insulting each other is not lishma
The yetzar hara wins againFebruary 23, 2018 1:10 pm at 1:10 pm #1475527hershhParticipant
Going thru many of these posts one can see the obvious ‘love’ some express towards chasidim. Yes the minhogim the chasidim have usually comes from previous tzadikim including lclapping on Shabbos kodesh Chasidim do not go int the ladies hall to dance I n front of the Kalla. So to the poster who said ‘who cares ‘ I say you should care. Strech limos, and all those meshugaasen are not chassidic ‘minhagim’December 30, 2020 11:24 am at 11:24 am #1933540K MParticipant
The frum world is careful that there should be a mechitza between the women and the men at least by dancing. Not only do the women only dance with women and the men only with men, we also have a mechitza between the women and the men so that the men don’t see the women dancing.
It is therefore upon us to PROTEST the practice that the Choson & Kallah Walk Together Into the Wedding Hall from the women’s side. Because the chosson is not supposed to see women dancing. Also, in order for the chosson to get to the men’s side, they usually open part of the mechitza. And usually a few minutes before he enters. The women then dance while the men are watching!
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