Corny Jokes

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  • This topic contains 54 replies, has 30 voices, and was last updated by  ahron 3 years ago.
Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 55 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #595581

    cooljude
    Member

    here, I’ll start: What did delaware? a brand new jersey! lol!

    #1208898

    ✡onegoal™
    Participant

    Was she friends with Mississippi?

    #1208899

    ha ha ha ha
    Member

    if this joke would’ve been made on paysach it would be kitniyos!!!

    #1208900

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    one goal,

    i don’t know, Alaska

    #1208901

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    that should put her out of her Missouri

    🙂

    :p> mbachur <d:

    #1208902

    maynish
    Member

    Guys gets pulled over. the cop says walk in a straight line. the guy says “well stop moving the line”

    #1208903

    i am here
    Member

    Why did the cookie go to the Dr.?

    #1208904

    it was feeling crumby?

    it had a chip in her knee?

    it was burned?

    chipped tooth?

    wanted to feel butter?

    #1208905

    i am here
    Member

    all are awesome answers. my answer is cause it felt crumby

    #1208906

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Those answers are half-baked.

    #1208907

    you hit a raw nerve

    #1208908

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    #1208909

    i am here
    Member

    ouch

    #1208910

    guy-ocho
    Member

    Who is the father of all corny jokes?

    POPCORN!

    #1208911

    guy-ocho
    Member

    <p><i>A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hay , could I get a beer please”

    The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”</i></p>

    #1208912

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Well, send it back to the kitchen then.

    #1208913

    Aishes Chayil
    Participant

    1.Leaving your office on December 31st, and telling your collegues,

    ‘Bye everyone, see you next year’ (ugh!)

    2.question; Where in the States do you live?

    ANSWER; JEW York

    3.why do pple put empty soda bottles in the fridge?

    In case they have guests who DON’T want anything to drin,k

    4. What do you do when someone shootys at you?

    Make Chazeres HASHATZ!!

    5. How do you say a Bachelor in Hebrew?

    Naar Hoyissi, Gam Zakanti V’LO ROIYSI!!!

    #1208914

    waiter1
    Member

    aishes chayil i dont get #5.what bracha do u make on a joke?haadama because its corny

    #1208915

    kapusta
    Participant

    that should put her out of her Missouri

    Isn’t that why she sipped on Minnesota?

    Wheres the rest of the song?

    *kapusta*

    #1208916

    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    This guy in Israel orders chicken at a restaurant. When the waiter brings it, there’s a very bad smell accompanying it. ‘Take it back!’ he said. ‘Why?’ asked the waiter. ‘Cos this is either ‘fowl’ or its ????’??’, he replied!

    #1208917

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    why can two geese be together but not two ducks?

    b/c then it would be a paradox!

    #1208918

    i am here
    Member

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    #1208919

    Aishes Chayil
    Participant

    Waiter;

    A Bachelor;

    Look at the last part of Birchas Hamozon……..Yiroo.

    It says ..Naar Hoyisis (I was a lad) Gam Zokanti (I got older) Viloh Roiyisi (I didnt see, meaning he didnt see the girl, he missed the boat)

    #1208920

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    what happened to the corn when he took a flight,

    his ears popped and turned into popcorn

    #1208921

    msseeker
    Member

    I thought it’s “v’lo ra’ayosi”!

    #1208922

    Poster
    Member

    A waiter brings a portion of soup to the table and teh customer screams, “Hey, there’s a bug in that soup!!!!”

    Waiter: “Do I look like a lifeguard?”

    #1208923

    dancinggirl
    Member

    youre all cheaters! all those state jokes are from a kids song! Lol!

    #1208924

    GumBall
    Member

    lol a dumb blonde walks into a library “hey, can i have a burger and fries please??” the librarian answers “this is a library” the blonde says in a whisper ‘can i have a burger and fries please??!!! lololol 🙂

    #1208925

    cooljude
    Member

    hey guys these jokes r relly cute but their a lil bit corny lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!jk anyway thanks 4 all ur jokes now i finally have something 2 tell my friends !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and aishes chayil i relly like ur first joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!keep on sendimg more jokes dudetts rock on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #1208926

    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Where is a vacuum cleaner mentioned in the Torah?

    “al gichoncha taylach v’afar tochal!” (Breishis 3:14)

    #1208928

    BSD
    Member

    This lady wears the same sweater all year long. Comes Pesach and she wears a different one. Asks her children on Pesach night “Why is this Knit different…” (groan)

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

    what does a humanitarian eat?

    #1208929

    BSD
    Member

    How do you say flat tire in Ivrit?

    #1208930

    Where does a bee sit?

    #1208931

    HLM
    Member

    kishke 4 shabbos:

    “Where does a bee sit?”

    HIS BEE-HIND!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorites!!!!!!!!!! (from laffy taffy wrappers!!!)

    🙂 :p 😀

    #1208932

    Pashuteh Yid
    Member

    I’m going to the store to buy a henway.

    What’s a henway?

    About 10 pounds.

    #1208933

    Health
    Participant

    What did the mayo say to the fridge?

    Hey, close the door; I’m dressing!

    #1208934

    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    A real corny groaner:

    Q: What did the old calendar say as its owner was about to throw it into the garbage? A: I think my days are numbered!

    #1208935

    cooljude
    Member

    U GUYS R GOOD!!!!!!!!

    #1208936

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    why does a doctor have to sign first on a shtar kiddushin?

    because he knows FIRST AID!

    #1208937

    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    u guys r funny1

    BSD, what’s the answer to your “How do you say flat tire in Ivrit?”

    #1208938

    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Why does a sea gull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel.

    Why did the man jump off the Empire State Building? He wanted to make a smash hit on Broadway.

    What does a grape say when an elephant stands on it? It lets out a little whine.

    Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one.

    How do you stop a skunk smelling? Hold its nose.

    #1208940

    ha ha ha ha
    Member

    what sits under the ocean a shakes?

    a nervous wreck!!

    what has 16 wheels and flys???

    a garbage truck!!

    #1208941

    GumBall
    Member

    LOL 2 corny 4 me all these jokes!!

    #1208942

    Who is the father of all corny jokes?

    POPCORN!

    corn gave birth to popcorn. its a known fact

    #1208943

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    sorry moski,

    ocho made that joke above

    #1208944

    coffee i was telling ocho that popcorn cant be the father of all corny jokes because corn came first

    #1208945

    supergirl613
    Member

    Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

    Because it was attached to the chicken’s foot!!!!!

    #1208946

    am yisrael chai
    Participant
    #1208947

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    thank you ayc,

    that’s where I posted the popcorn joke

    #1208948

    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    I had 2 ha’aros today when i watched a chicken cross the road:

    Firstly, why can’t a chicken cross the road without having its motives questioned by people who only want to eat it?

    by the way, the chicken i saw cross the road this morning, was being chased by my son.

    just so you should know.

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